Back to Life… Back to Reality….

*sigh*

Only one more day in paradise internets and then we’ll be packing the car, drugging the dogs with the new drugs which (please God) will keep our hounds under control in the car and be on our way home to the smoggy depths of Joburg…

We’ve had such a good time in Plett I loathe the idea of going home and going back to work – but it has to be done.  Cos like it or don’t like it work pays the bills and will ultimately pay for our next IVF…

So nearly time to drive home…

In the mean time let me regail you with some pic’s of our dogs enjoying their holiday as much as we have…

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Oh and one of us after our disasterous round of golf on Monday!

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Haunted House

While canoeing on the Bitou River the other day we found this “haunted” house.  This house is in a beautiful spot and has the most amazing views but it looks really spooky mostly because it is sad and lonely and unloved…

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It took some convincing on my part to get scaredy cat Cliff to agree to go in, but finally we set out to explore this sad relic of a home and I was astounded at what we found.  I figured the house would be filled with graffitti and be a mess inside but I was also really saddened at the futility of it.  It is HUGE and the plan must have been for this to be a family home where lots of kids were brought up all the while enjoying the most of what nature had to offer. 

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I wonder what this house’s story is?

Failure Meltdown…

On Monday we went to play golf at one of the most stunning golf courses in the Eastern Cape – Simola Golf Estate.  It is a Jack Nicklaus signature course and it is gorgeous.  The weather was perfect but sadly my swing seemed to have deserted me…

I was getting really angry and annoyed with myself, cos I would tee off well enough (some of my tee off’s were in fact those really cool “ping” shots that sounded sweet and went really far) but my second and third shots – well they sucked.  I was topping the ball most of the time and it would travel a measly 5 to 10 metres at a time.  The more annoyed I was getting the worse it seemed to get.  (Duh…)  For the life of me I could not hit a ball to save my life.

And then it hit – it bubbled up and out like hot lava – the failure melt down…

I freaked out and lamented to my poor husband (who was having a GREAT round) how much of a failure I was.  I could not hit a bloody golf ball, I could not find a job that satisfied and fulfilled me, I could not have a baby, I could not… I. Could. Not.  I wanted to cry and get the frustrations of the day out, but you guessed it, I even failed at leaking out those salty tears that remained steadfastly locked behind my eyelids.  I.  Could.  Not. 

Cliff could not understand why I felt like such a failure and told me that I’m too hard on myself and that I need to stop being so negative about myself.  The thing is that I know he’s right, but his telling me this felt like raw salt in my wounds.  I was irritating him and making his round of golf unpleasant with all my talk of monumental failure and that made me feel even more like a failure. (What a sucky wife I was – messing with his round on this amazing course which really is a once in a life time experience)

We finished our round of golf (mine not so good his excellent as usual) and we had a fight over rock shandy’s and lunch at the clubhouse.

The fact is that I feel like a monumental failure at pretty much everything in my life right now.  I am not happy with my job and I am struggling to fix that.  My marriage is hanging by a thread cos of infertility and it seems that I’m not doing such a good job at keeping that together.  I have not yet been able to have a child and create a family.  It seems like everywhere I’m turning right now I’m failing.  I know that I need to get my mind around this and be more positive about where I’m at, but right now I have to admit defeat and say that this is something I’m also failing at.

So the truth is just that, the failure meltdown happened.  And at the end of it all, I *still* felt like that failure that started it all…

Cheers!

One of the best things about being on holiday in Plettenberg Bay is the fact that there are many different restaurants where we can go for a little sundowner.  One of our favourites – Enrico’s – is in such a stunning spot – it overlooks the beach and while one knows that one cannot expect sterling service, the wine and beer is good and the setting way overshadows any service issues you might have…

So cheers internets!  Here’s to sundowners at the beach!

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Jonothan Livingstone Seagull

Did you guys ever read this book?  It is one of the most inspiring I’ve ever read. I loved it and read it over and over and over while I was growing up.  They made a movie of it too – Neil  Diamond did the soundtrack. 

While having sundowners at a local restaurant right on the beach front, I took the following shots which reminded me of my childhood inspiration.

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When I looked at these shots last night I heard the stum of the beat and nodded my head to the Anthem of inspiration…

FRESH FISH!!! YUMMY!!!

We had a REAL treat for dinner last night.  We decided that after our divine day of walking on the beach and  canoeing up the river we would go fishing while the miserable weather rolled in over the hills of Plettenberg Bay. 

We pumped for prawns to use for bait and then set off with our rods to try and catch ourselves some dinner.  We cast our lines and got a few nibbles.  After nearly suffering from cardiac arrest when Jazz nearly got her hind leg caught in a hook while I was baiting my line, I took the hounds back to the holiday house and when I got back Cliff showed me his catch – a cute little grunter!  We had fish for dinner 🙂  We stayed a while longer and Cliff soon hooked another fish!  Whoooo hoooo!  (I caught nothing but some white wine in a plastic glass despite my best efforts *sigh* I really want to catch a fish while we’re here…)

So we got home and proceeded to prepare our fish for dinner!

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YUMMY!  I hope we get some more of the same next week!

Makes it all worth it…

We had a fantastic day yesterday!  The sun was shining and we spent a lot of time outside in the sunshine – Vitamin D is SO good for the soul 🙂

Look at how happy our hounds were running around in the river and playing and being all round crazy… It really made the whole horendous trip down here worth it.  For the record we have gone to the vet here in Plett who has given us some stuff for Nutricalm to combine with the meds for Saff so we’re pretty confident that it will work… otherwise we already know we can handle 12 hours of chaos in the car 😉

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