Broken…

Sitting in a meeting and seeing your child’s school number flashing on your mobile at 15h20 in the afternoon gets one’s heart racing a bit.  Upon completing your meeting and calling the school back and being told that your child has fallen, that he won’t put pressure on his leg and that they believed he needs to see a doctor?  These are the moments that put a bolt of fear right into the pit of your stomach.

Frantic calls to your husband.  Racing to the school with hazard lights flashing while your heart races.  Rushing into the school to see your child hanging limply from your husbands frame while crying and sniffing miserably.  These are the moments that crush your heart into a million pieces.

Rushing to the ER, having a doctor say “I hope I’m wrong but that leg looks broken”.  Hearing your child scream while your husband holds him down to have x-rays taken and then seeing those x-rays on-screen confirming a break.  Not just any break.  A spiral fracture of the right femur.  The hardest bone in the body.  These are the moments that make you want to be physically ill.

Getting an ortho referral at 17h40 at night and rushing to Olivedale clinic to have your child admitted for God knows how long.  Having to hold your child down while the nurses put him in traction and hearing him scream “Mommy, mommy, help”.  Seeing his little lips shiver  as the valoran finally kicks in to dull his pain.  Making plans to stay with him overnight.  Calling your boss to tell him you won’t be in for the foreseeable future.  Having the ortho come evaluate your child and discuss options to heal him – having to make decisions for his care while emotionally spent.  These are the moments that adrenaline gets you through.

Being with your child while he’s in traction in pain and bored out of his skull cos he can’t move like he wants to.  Trying to explain to your child why you cannot pick him up when that is ALL he wants you to do.  Being your child’s advocate when the pain meds wear off and the nurses forget to come and administer them cos the ward is slammed.  These are the moments when you would do ANYTHING in the world to make it better and wish you could TAKE on the situation to yourself.

Making puppets out of tongue depressors and balloons out of surgical gloves.  Making friends with the mom’s of the other children in your ward and making tea for each other or helping with each others kids so you can go to the loo in peace.  Having good friends drop off food and JUST being there to support you through this.  Having your mom and sister and niece come to sit with you, knowing that they can’t DO much but will sit there anyway.  Having your child smile at you despite all that’s going on around him.  These are the moments that allow you to remember how blessed you are even in the midst of adversity.

Holding your child down while anesthetic is administered so his hip spica cast can be fitted.  Trying to be brave for him.  Choking back your tears that threaten to fall cos you have not slept in three days and you are so, so, so worried about your child.  Having the theatre nurse rub your back as you sob your heart out lying on the bed next to your child before he wakes up from spica cast placement.  These are the moments that make you realise you are only human.

Going home and learning how to cope with a child living with a hip spica cast.  These are the moments that challenge you daily and grow you and stretch you.  BIG time.

Heavenly Holidays…

Our holiday is but a distant memory, but it was really so divine.  The time spent with Kade was good for my soul and being near the beach is like heaven to me.  Cliff and I connected in a way that we’ve been missing each other of late due to life being so busy so all in all a very successful, relaxing holiday.

Our flight to PE went brilliantly.  BA were phenomenal.  Kade loved the flight and the plane and didn’t give us any issues at all.  Once we were allowed to walk around he loved walking up and down the isle and charmed pretty much everyone on the plane.

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He used the ricksha to entertain himself whilst we waited for our luggage and then we headed to Cliff’s cousin’s place.

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Oh my gosh!  Kade LOVED the dogs on Fiona’s property.  They have four old bigger dogs and one gorgeous labby puppy called Ollie.  Ollie was very rambunctious but once Kade figured out that Ollie was a friend and not a foe – they were fast friends!  Kade ran around calling “Ollie, Ollie, Ollie”.  At first he wasn’t so sure about the horses but after a little bit of coaxing, and showing him how to feed them some carrots he was in awe.

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We had a lovely visit with Cliff’s cousin and her hubby and after a divine outride we headed to Plett.

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Our bug slept pretty much the whole way there and when we arrived we quickly unpacked and got settled and went for his first ever walk on the lagoon and beach.  He wasn’t so sure about this whole thing but was happy to walk as long as he was holding one of our hands and we didn’t get to close to the water.

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We then had to figure out where and how little mister was going to sleep.  He still sleeps in his cot at home and as this was a holiday home there was no cot in the house.  We changed up the one room quite a bit and he ended up sleeping on a mattress on the floor which worked quite well until he fell off it the one night.  We then put an added mattress next to the one he slept on and bulked up with pillows.  That was a winner.

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We did a lot of lagoon time cos Kade didn’t seem overly fond of the beach but we did go for a walk everyday on the beach and every day Kade got more comfortable.  We washed the boat, we went for boat rides.  We played on the beach.  We made chalk drawings on the benches in the courtyard of our house.  We just spent good quality family time together.  Well when Cliff wasn’t sick that is.  Yep, my man was man down for 5 days with a severe tummy virus but once he got better it was the three of us having fun in the sun.

Before we left for our holiday I was concerned about how Kade would react to all the change in his little world.  Different house.  Different bed.  Different surrounding.  My little dude blew me away at how quickly he adjusted.  How he just took to being on holiday like a seagull to the beach.  He still is not so sure about the waves (but then again so am I and I’m 34 years of age) but he loved the holiday.  His vocab EXPLODED while we were away and I have to say that I really LIKE this little guy that I’m raising.  He’s charming and has a really good sense of humor emerging.

I cannot wait until we get to plan our next family holiday to Plett.

Another Milestone Reached…

I know I owe you guys an update on our Plett holiday.

Work has been manic (from being the new kid on the block to most experienced person on the sales team as well as tying up our Christmas plans with customers and setting up showrooms, I’ll just say things have been quite…interesting!) and I’ve just felt like that swan.  You know the one that everyone talks about?  The one that looks so graceful and beautiful on the top of the water but the one that is in fact kicking its legs off to stay afloat… yes.  That would be me.

Finding the balance between work Sam and home Sam has been slightly challenging of late but I know that I will get there soon.

We decided to start Kade at a preschool close to home once we’d come back from holiday.  He’s showing signs of needing the added stimulation and social interaction for a while now and we both felt it was the right time for our little bug to enter into this next chapter of his life.

That chapter started this morning.  All day yesterday I was prepping him telling him he was going to school to make friends, to have fun with teacher Hilary and playing it up in a big way.  Everytime I mentioned school I got a big emphatic “Nooooooooooo” from him but hey, he says no to pretty much everything these days.

We woke up this morning and bug was happy to kit himself out in Daddy’s cycling kit.

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Then we started getting him ready for school and this little monkey of mine started playing up.  Wouldn’t let Thembi dress him.  Wouldn’t let Daddy or Mommy dress him.  Ran around the house.  Finally let Thembi dress him.  Made a massive poo.  Let Thembi change his nappy.  Then he wouldn’t eat his breakfast in his high chair.  Insisted on being fed on the couch.  Ran around the house with a toast soldier in his mouth… All the while Mommy was getting more and more anxious about drop off.

We tried to snap a picture of him with his school bag to remember this big day… well lets just say this is the best we got…

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Drop off was… hard.  Kade was fine as long as he was on my hip and when I was standing next to him looking at the toys.  He was not so fine when Cliff and I left to go to work.  Screaming and crying and hanging out of the teachers arms crying “mamma don’t go!”

It took every fibre of my being to kiss him and walk out of that classroom.  As soon as I got to the corridor I started weeping.  I could still hear him crying for me and my heart broke into a million pieces.

I cried in my car on the way to work.

I got a lovely message from teacher Hilary (I missed her call cos I was in a strat meeting totally not concentrating) to say that Kade had settled quickly and that he played beautifully with the kids and that all was well.

I know that we’ve got a few days of horrible drop off to go.  I’m expecting this to go on for a while so that if he does settle quicker than I think it’ll be a bonus.

I just hope that my wonderful son, ignites with a spirit of learning and learns to love school as much as his mother did.

What a milestone!