Best Mother in the World

I just got this from my Mom – who is without a doubt the best Mother in the world – telling me that my baby was having this conversation with God right now in preparation *tears in my eyes* 

So this if for each and every Mom in waiting, your baby is soon to be sent to earth!

A Baby Asks God:  

A baby asked God, “They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow,  but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?”  God said, “Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.” The child further inquired, “But tell me, here in heaven I don’t have  to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.”   God said, “Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you.   And you will feel your angel’s love and be very happy.” Again the child asked, “And how am I going to be able to understand  when people talk to me if I don’t know the language?”   God said, “Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words  you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will  teach you how to speak.” 

“And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?”   God said, “Your angel will place your hands together and will teach  you how to pray.” “Who will protect me?”   God said, “Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.” “But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.”  God said, “Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you.” At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth  could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, “God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel’s name.”

“You will simply call her, “Mom.” 

Baby Shower Blues

Today I need to shop for a baby shower gift… this gift is for a friend who is like a sister to me.  She is a part of my family.  I love her dearly. 

BUT in the deepest darkest recesses of my heart I am sad.  Sad that this is not my baby shower, sad that she is having her baby girl in March and sad that while I have been waiting for my miracle for well over three years that she got hers within three months of trying.

Wish me luck!

Frustrating!

I have been obsessing focusing on having a better healthy lifestyle of late, cos by obsessing focusing on this I am shifting the obsession focus from trying to have a baby to being a healthy bunny…

I must admit that so far so good.  I have given up all things caffienated for green tea and water, have stopped consuming alcohol completley and have been eating well.  I have been regularly meeting Gym for 30 – 40 minutes at a time (sometimes Cliff even comes along – shock horror) and am feeling pretty damn good.  I have an appointment with a dietician to increase the general wellness of this new life of Sam… so why the frustration you ask?

Because I decided to play golf yesterday…. which in itself is not a bad thing, I mean I really enjoy my time on the golf course and the sunshine it brings along with it, but yesterday was an exercise in futility. 

For the life of me I could.not.hit.a.ball!!!  My drives off the tee box were wayward and more often than not were finding the rough (which was more like a darn jungle I tell you) and my putting went for a ball of shyte… My pitching was shocking, probably cos I had jungle oats for breakfast and it showed in my shots and well, you get the picture… not my best round of golf ever played. 

Conclusion for the day :

• 3 x balls lost – one in water, 2 in the jungle rough
• 2 x balls found – both in the jungle rough, alas not mine, but I took them anyway (hey I figured it was justice)
• 1 x temper lost at each hole
• 1 x bad case of sever golfers irritation (I had to stop counting the shots people, that is how bad it got)
• 1 x HUGE lime and soda at the end of the round to cool off (just NOT the same as a glass of red wine)
• 1 resolution to hit the driving range a whole lot more in the VERY near future

More Ceramics Pictures!

 

… cos I could not get them loaded on the other post 😉

Pondering Something

Recently I have been thinking about how I can earn a living from home.  As much as my job is not stressful right now (left my last highly stressful job in an attempt to increase my chances of conceiving), I really cannot see myself doing it indefinitely.  I really want to do something that taps into my creativity, that I have fun doing and that can cover my bills. 

I do ceramics and have been thinking A LOT about selling my stuff. BUT, I am not 100% sure that anyone would buy it and I would need to do it piece meal at first while still at a full time job to ensure that I can earn enough to pay the bills… 

Here are some of my pieces:

  

I need honesty from you my friends in blogesphere!

What you say?  Would you as consumers buy my stuff???

Exhausted

I am feeling exhausted. 

And I am solely to blame for this feeling… I had a heck of a weekend 🙂  Thanks to load shedding and non working generators at work, I left work on Friday at 13h00 – BONUS!  Friday night was a friend’s birthday party at Da Vincenzo’s and we had a great time with yummy food.  Then my friend wanted to go out dancing – ooi.  Said friend and I are Tequila Buddies, and going out to dance = a few tequila’s right?  Wrong!  We ended up at Vacca Matta (which has clearly been replaced by some other club type place as the place to be) and the crowd headed to the bar… This is a brief overview of the convo that followed:

“What you having Sam? 

A lime & soda please.

And?  What else you going to have???

Just a lime & soda please. ”  Cue horrified looks from general crowd and barman…

Have you ever noticed that when one decides to not drink it is everyone else who has the real problem with you not drinking???  But I digress…

Said party at VM came to an end at 03h30 when they kicked us out – and just for the record staying out till 3h30 and still having fun is possible without tequila or red wine 😉  I drove the birthday girl home and tumbled into bed at 04h20!  Had to get up bright and early to meet another friend for breakfast at 2nd Cup, got busy with shopping and planning a few ceramic masterpieces and then had to get ready for the Crocodile Rock at the Elton John concert last night.   The concert was fabulous!  Elton is my new musical hero!  And his conductor like finger pointing to thank us for our adulation after his songs still cracks a smile on my face…  Yet another late night – home and in bed by 24h00… Up early to get to church this morning in weather that makes me want to quack…

So yep, feeling pretty exhausted today!  Time for a snooze on the couch…. I can hear the cushion calling!

I did it!

I got through the first big night out without having  a single glass of wine! 

I am SO proud of myself, cos now I know that if I can do it once I can do it again and again and again…

I went to a good friend for dinner last night and normally dinner at her place = loads of red wine and much fun and laughter.  I explained to her on Saturday that I was trying to give up wine (and alcohol in general) which she understood… (albeit reluctantly).  Anyhoo, I had a lot of temptation thrown my way last night, other friends who were at dinner kept trying to tempt me into having “just one glass”, “have half a glass” etc and I withstood the temptation.  One friend even jokingly (I think 😉 ) told me that I was putting my body into shock by not having the wine it was so used to having  (that was quite a good argument I dare say…)

Dinner was delish, the company was great and we still had much fun and laughter…. sans wine for me 🙂  Seems I am still a good time without the aid of my favourite full bodied social liquid…

I know it is still early days and I am not going to beat myself up if I do slip here and there but damn I felt good this morning when I woke up and realised that the first major socialising without wine hurdle was sailed over!!

“Red Red Wine, say goodbye to meeeee”

Day One of the No Wine Sam

Today marks the day that I try and say Auwederzen to Wine…  I have slowly over the last 11 days been trying to wean myself off my daily intake, and having finished the last of the open bottle in the fridge last night decided not to have temptation present by not opening another one.

 So far so good 😉 

Feel free to kick me in the hind quarters if I deviate!

Funk…

As you may have guessed I have been in a bit of a funk of late, not a really bad deep dark one, but a funk none the less.  

I think know it is because I know that my self imposed deadline for getting the IVF process in action is looming and I am scared that it won’t work out for us.  I feel like I need to explain… I have always been a planning type of girl – I have to have a plan for 90% of life.  When we first started on this IF journey, I tackled it like I would most things in life – formulate a plan, voice the plan, put the plan into action… I never thought that I would have to keep reassessing the plan and never in a million years thought that by following the plan that I would sometimes be forced to take several backward steps – I mean the whole idea of a plan is to move forward right?  Right?

After my last injectable IUI cycle which was cancelled my doc told me in no uncertain (and very cold) terms that the only way I would ever fall pregnant was to go the IVF route.  I was filled with so many emotions – I was devastated that my ovaries (which ached on that cycle like they have never ached before so I was sure that they were happily growing millions of eggs) were so reluctant to yield the 18 -20 mm follicle growth we needed to proceed, I was emotionally and physically exhausted, I was scared and I was just so damn sad.  Not depressed and needing pills sad but I was so, so sad.  So I changed the plan yet again and went the “natural” route.  Initially it worked for me and my ovaries seemed to have received the memo – ovulate and shed every month – Yes Ma’am!  But then they went on strike again (buggers, in any work environment they would have been terminated and replaced with happy to be there working type ovaries) and hence we are now at the stage where the IVF appointment has been made and we are going to bite the bullet and move forward yet again…

The point to this amazingly long ramble is that this morning I went for a wax and I was telling my therapist about our plans for the year and voiced my fear that this too may not work out for us.  Boy did she force me out my funk, and told me to stop putting negative thoughts into the universe and to pull myself together and to let the plan go!  Let the plan go?  WTF?  The Plan is what gets me through!  But in my heart of hearts I know she is right and uncannily enough my reflexologist (who I love by the way) told me the exact same thing yesterday – she said “Sam you need to let go”… and I am going to try my damnedest.

So here is my positive thought going into the universe…

My appointment is for 06th Feb, all will go well and I will learn about my body (Ta Tam 😉 ) and will get that BFP and that beautiful miracle I will call my son or daughter this year. 

Yep ladies and gents, this year 2008 will be the year of victory!  For all of us.

The Deed is Done…

Well it is done! I made the call and I am now set to see Dr V on the 06th Feb @ 10h00… Happy, excited, a teensy bit scared, nausious and cross eyed (the last due to the fact that I have left my glasses at home and my greens are not used to looking at the screen without aid these days 😉 )

So the deed has been done and I am ready for a year of victory!

 Need to write a post about the funk I have been in and the pep talk I got from my beauty therapist to get me out of it… Will work on that later today 🙂