Have yourself a Merry Lil’ Christmas…

It’s no secret that I love Christmas.

I love it for many reasons.  First and foremost, I love Christmas because it’s an outward showing of the love I have for my Saviour who was born into this world to die for my sins. And yes, I know he wasn’t actually born on this day but the symbolism of it holds true for me.

I love Christmas cos its a special time that I get to spend with my family.  My big, mad, crazy family.  As a Curley tradition we always used to wake up early on Christmas morning, head to church and when we got home we’d crack a bottle of bubbly, mix with OJ and toast while opening pressies.  We still do this every year.  We have a massive Christmas lunch with loads of laughing, joking and EATING and then we all sit and lie together on couches, some of us have naps, we talk, we tickle each other but most importantly we love on each other.

As Cliff and I got further and further into our infertility journey, I still loved Christmas but it started to become a time of sadness mixed with the joy for us.  We used to be reminded of the fact that we were the ones without children over and over.  And we all know “Christmas is all about the kids” right?  It became a time of year that I stopped looking forward to.  I used to head into each Christmas with the thought that next year would be our year and when it wasn’t I would spiral further into the despair…

Last Christmas I was pregnant, happily so and I was just so darn glad that I could embrace the joy that Christmas was for me again.  I had experienced my last major pregnancy bleed and my child was growing in my tummy.  I could let myself drown in the happiness of it all.  This year, I know I’m gonna have to take a trailer with to my Mom’s house to cart all the pressies home.  Cos this year, my son will be entering into the Christmas mayhem with us.  I look at him as we draw closer and closer to this special day and I fall to my knee’s with gratitude.  I cannot believe that we hit the jackpot so to speak and that we are so blessed.  I sink into my happiness like an addict sinking into a high.

But I also take a step back to think of those who are still in the trenches of infertility.  Of the joy that is robbed of them at this time of year.  My wish for all of you who are still trying to make or add to your families; is that your deepest desire’s are fulfilled in the coming year.  That next year will be a Christmas of unending joy and gratitude.

So from me and mine, to you and yours “Have yourself a Merry Lil’ Christmas”

Um….ok….

So the year is winding down and it seems that I am the only doofus still at work at this time of year, cos EVERYONE else is on holiday and I have read all the blogs on my reader, I am getting sick of Facebook and there is only SO many times one can check Twitter without getting BB thumb…

So I thought I would head on over to my blog and start cleaning it up a bit, my blog roll is a mess of note and there is no time like the present to tweak things here right?

I saw then on my dashboard a “top search term” and I quite literally choked on my tea…

“up guys see only shit and down guys see only assholes”

Um… Ok…. If you say so searcher.

Now back to my little blog clean up…

A Rose by any other name…

While I was supposed to be working today, I was catching up on some blog reading and read this post of Julia’s.

I have always loved hearing about other people’s names and how they got their names and what their family traditions are in relation to naming etc… I started typing my response to her post and when I realised I was writing one super long essay, I decided to hijack her post idea and put my response here 🙂

My mother is one of five children and all of them have second names – my Mom is Carole Lucielle – and hated the fact that all of the girls had one of their names chosen after an actress my Grandfather loved (Mom was after Lucielle Ball).  As a result of this neither my sister or I have second names.  I always wanted my second name to be Elizabeth and often used to tell people it was my second name 😉

My father had many names – he was Peter John Biller Michael Curley – WHAT A MOUTHFULL!

Cliff is officially Clifford Mark and both he and his brother have traditional names and second names…

When we got married I changed my surname to a double barrel of my maiden name and my married name – Curley-Young – not becuase I’m this great feminist or anything, but simply because I felt that my family was so much a part of me and I couldn’t bear to part with my unusual surname…

Through our years of infertility I would often see names that I liked and said that I would name my kids those names one day… as we battled more and more to conceive I stopped doing that and would secretly seethe when friends and family “stole” the names I had planned to use one day… What a chop I was!

Before I conceived I had a friend who told me one day she couldn’t wait for the day when we told her we would be having a little Clam of our own.  I was like what?  And she said “yep a little bit of CLiff and a little bit of sAM, your CLAM”…  Well we all know that the nickname stuck!  Cliff and I did not come to Kade’s name easily.  Mostly because my dear husband would not be serious enough to actually discuss baby names most of the time.  He kept on saying “lets name him Bob” or “how about Tard?” I was super prepared.  I had a few baby name books and trolled website after website looking at boys names that I liked.  But nothing ever really “fit”… The one constant name that we both liked right away was Ethan.  But we both also realised that Ethan was being used a lot at the time and that we wanted our son to have a name that was different.  A name that was as special as he was to us.  I was about 36 weeks along and we still had not offically decided on his name.  I read a blog post and the woman who wrote the post mentioned a name that meant “defender of the faith” and it just clicked.  My son that was growing in my womb had helped defend MY faith and I hope that our testimony helps to defend others faith.  I told Cliff about it and he fell in love with it as well and that is how we got to Kade Ethan.

We realised though that his initials would end up being KEY and I was concerned about that until my husband (bless his heart) said the most endearing thing he’s ever said in relation to naming our son – he told me that it was appropriate cos Kade was the KEY to our hearts.

And that is my long winded story of names!

Brain Dump

  • Lea linked to this post today- I think all of us need to read it to remind us just how good our lives are – warts and all…
  • Today we say goodbye to my sister in law by marriage’s Mom.  She passed away last Wednesday and her passing has brought a lot of what I felt when my Dad passed away back to the fore.  It’s made me realise that I never really allowed myself to grieve for him properly and also that I had to sort out the anger issues I had towards him before I could grieve.  My heart is sore today.  For me.  For him.  Mostly for Barbs who has to put her Mom to rest – I cannot imagine losing my Mom.  Losing Dad was hard enough, but my Mom?  I can’t even think about that…
  • Work is manic busy.  As much as I love Christmas, I am not particularly enamoured with this time of year – there is too much stress on me work wise and I can’t bear my clients who are all fighting to get the biggest piece of the ‘Christmas spend’ pie… it doesn’t help that this year is a tough financial one and lets face it people are being very careful with their spending this year – my clients products?  They are total luxury and are battling this season – something that is apparently all my and my team’s fault…
  • I have yet to start my Christmas shopping – every year I tell myself to get my ass into gear and buy EARLY to avoid the rush, but every year I leave it later and later and end up stressed to the max.  MUST.PULL.FINGER.OUT.BUTT!
  • I need to find a good maintance programe to keep the weight I lost after I had Kade off – have been doing small runs every now and then but want to supplement this with something else to tone – any suggestions?
  • I have some good friends who are battling with life at the moment.  I wish I could make it all better for them.  The pain they are going through hits too close to home and I just wish I could change their realities.  I know that God will answer their prayers, I just wish I knew when and how so that I could ease the hurts they are feeling.
  • There is not a day that goes by that I don’t fall to my knee’s to thank Him for my child.  Kade is my healing.  This child is my destiny.  I always thought I knew how much I would love my child.  I could never have imagined the depth of my love for him.  A mother’s love is infinite.  And amazingly beautiful.  And fierce.  So much encompasses what this love means… Words fail me when I try explain my love for my child.
  • My husband as a father is so incredibly sexy.  I just want to jump his bones when I see how amazing he is with our son.  More on this in another post…
  • I drink too much tea.  This started while I was on maternity leave when I was pretty much living on tea and the love affair continues daily.  I need to get back to drinking good old H2O…
  • Brain dumps are good for the soul – think I might do this more often 😉

Me Sucketh, and other random stuff…

You know what? 

I suck.  I totally suck at doing these “post everyday for 30 day” challenges… I always start off all gung ho but then end up fizzling out cos life gets in the way… It’s a good life so I’m not complaining, but still… Me sucketh bigeth…

I’ve also been given an award by a few of my lovely bloggy pals – so a big thanks to Tanya, Lisa Marie, Lea and Melinda – I’m gonna be hard pressed to find some bloggers who haven’t already been awarded but I’ll do me best 🙂

The deal is that I need to reveal 7 random things about myself and then tag 15 other bloggers  to do the same…

So without further ado, my randomness is like this:

  1. I LOVE how nail polish looks on finger nails.  LOVE it.  The catch is I cannot stand to have nail polish on my OWN fingernails.  Freaks me out a bit.  I just don’t like not knowing if my fingernails are dirty or not.  I HAVE to be able to see the whites of my nails.  Every now and then I get a bee in my bonnet and paint my fingernails – it never lasts long.
  2. I love to read.  It’s my passion.  Everyone told me that there was no way I would find time to read when Kade came along – but you know what?  I did and I do.  Even if it means having to read while sitting on the white throne or whilst I’m blowdrying my hair.  I also HAVE to read before I go to sleep.  If I don’t, I don’t sleep well.  Even in those sleep deprived days I would read a paragraph before going back  to bed between feeds.
  3. When I was in school my career aptitude test showed that I would do best as an author.  I have always wanted to write a book.  Truth is I’m too poop scared to do it.  It’s my biggest dream but also my biggest fear.
  4. I went to 12 schools in 12 years of schooling – I shit you not.  Thankfully 98% of the moving occurred when I was in primary school before kids thought to have “cliques” and would be my friend just cos I was new and not when in high school.  My one and only high school move happened in the middle of std 6 (grade 8) and it was my most difficult transition.
  5. I am still supple enough to put my foot behind my head from a sitting postition.  Give me 12 tequila’s and you might get to see this party trick first hand.
  6. You will hardly ever see me wearing a coloured shirt.  And 8 times out of 10 if I am it’s accompanied by a black cardi.  I sweat a lot and am HUGELY self conscious of it.  I’ve heard that injecting Botox into my underarms will help but wonder if it’s wise to numb my underarms?  What if I end up not being able to lift my arms or they damage my lymph nodes or something…
  7. When I was a kid I used to throw spectacular tantrums.  I would throw myself onto the ground and kick and scream.  I’m scared that I’ve passed this onto my son.  He’s not a difficult baby by any means but when he does get it in his head to throw a tantrum… all I can say is WOW.

Now ladies – I want to know about you and your “randoms” – GO!

Tam, Tracey, Nita, Mash and Sophie *mwahs*