The Slippery Slope…

I have never been a naturally slender person.

Even when I was in school and was super active doing all kinds of sports I had to keep busy and watch what I ate.  Having a mother who was also always battling with her weight and constantly on diet made me VERY cognizant of watching my weight and staying trim.  Added to that the bombardment that thin = beautiful from all forms of media lets just say I became rather self conscious and quite down on my “not naturally skinny” self.

Many years of infertility and comfort eating led to a rather chubby self before I had Kade and about a year after he was born I decided that I had, had enough of being fat and unhealthy.  I went on a journey and lost 23kg.  I started running.  I led the “right” kind of life.  Everything in moderation, burning more than I consumed and all that…

I maintained my weight loss well through my second pregnancy and bounced back to my pre pregnancy weight easily and stayed that way for ages. But you know… it’s easy to lose sight of the healthy lifestyle when life hits you.  I thought I could cheat more often because I was training hard.  I was surely burning way more than I was consuming… life got a bit crazy, I had time away by myself, work shifted into overdrive and bad food planning and quite a bit of work travel (which means eating out a lot) and a running injury later and I found myself battling to fit into my work trousers and when I stepped on the scale I was horrified to see that I have gained 8KGS!!!

I am now back to eating as healthy as I can, back to training as regularly as my knee’s will allow and I hope to soon fit into my clothes again comfortably…  it just goes to show that it is a quick slippery slope for me back to being larger than I would like and that for the rest of my life I will have to keep myself in line if I want to be an example of healthy living to my kids.

Do you battle to maintain a healthy lifestyle and weight?

On the road to nowhere

My running has taken a severe knock in the past couple of months.  I started off the year so well and was training consistently and pushing mileage and running good times, improving every run.  But.  My knee’s started to hurt.  Not ITB pain but like a bruised feeling right in the middle of my knee behind the cap kind of hurt.

I went to the physio who treated the symptoms but after several sessions they were no better so he suggested I see a bio.  I was training for the Knysna half and went to the bio to get me through the race.  He told me my glutes were weak and that my VMO’s needed to be strengthened.  We did three sessions in the three weeks prior to the half and true to his word, I got through the race with relatively pain free knee’s.

He also mentioned that he believed my shoes were not the right ones for me and that I must get new ones after Knysna but couldn’t tell me WHAT shoes to get.  I didn’t want to go back to the Sweat shop where I got the “wrong” shoes from and was at a loss.

In the mean time I started running less and less.  I just couldn’t get rid of the knee pain despite the bum exercises I was doing.  Then I saw that Jenty had gone to SBR Sport for a leg assessment and on her recommendation booked an appointment to see Mike myself.


It is quite something seeing your running style on camera (and your big bum!).  What was painfully clear was that my shoes were SO wrong! Their lack of support was putting so much strain on my knee’s as my leg was practically collapsing in on itself.  What amazes me is that it certainly didn’t feel like I was doing so much damage while running!  Mike concurred that my butt (piriformis) was again the root cause of the trouble I was having in my knee’s.  He also picked up that my lower back and shoulders are bearing the brunt of the wobbly bum piriformis weakness and that my whole back needed some work.

I got new Asic’s GT1000’s and ran for the first time in FOREVER on Sunday.  What a difference running in the right shoes makes! Whilst my knee’s were still slightly niggly after my run, I could feel the difference.  My glutes were working HARD while I ran for the first time since I started running again.

I’ve had two massage sessions with Mike as well and I can’t tell you the difference I am feeling in my body.  Yesterday while torturing working on my piriformis he asked me if I ever felt numbness in my leg.  Remember about two years ago when I had leg numbness and thought I had a brain tumour?  *Penny drop*

So it is Spring now and there are no excuses to not run anymore!  It’s warmer and lighter.  I have the right shoes now and doing several bum exercises.

Time to get off the road to nowhere and on the road to stronger running!

Working Mom Guilt…

Before I became a mom I had friends who told me about the mom guilt.  Honestly I really didn’t think it was a “thing”… I then was lucky enough to become a mom myself and found out really quickly that not only was it a “thing”, it was a thing that RULES your life as soon as you don that moniker of “mom”…

Add to that the working mom guilt and I can’t believe that any of us leave this life relatively sane.  Gemma is sick.  She was absolutely fine all weekend.  Until just before I left for my run yesterday afternoon.  Cue the guilt. “I’m leaving for a run, Gems is running a low grade fever.  Maybe I shouldn’t go?  Should I stay?”  Good lord it’s enough to drive a person dilly.

Being up most of the night (not cos she was especially miz but cos I kept waking up to check the monitor to see if she was ok {yes my 20 month old is still monitored by a baby monitor}) and waking up to a fever of 38.5 meant someone needed to stay home.  My man has *just* started a new job so it had to be me.  Cue the working mom guilt.  I felt bad cos I had to “call in sick” but then I felt bad cos “my baby is sick and I’m worried about work”.  Work/Home balance?  What the fudge is that??

My baby is sick and it’s the last week of the sales month.  All my baby wants is me but I have over 5 million to write in orders in a week.  GUILT.  GUILT.  GUILT.  Because I know that at some point in this tricky day I am going to let someone down.  And I strongly suspect it will be my sick baby… because [[[bills]]] and I need my salary…

I’ve worked at every chance I could during the day but as any mom can attest, it’s not really possible to get all THAT much work done with a sick child glued to your chest.  Cue MORE guilt.  Late night catching up to prove I’m not a bad employee… which means a tired person tomorrow… for both work and my family… GUILT.  GUILT. GUILT.

Good gosh, if any one has good tips on how to manage the mom guilt, please pass them on?

Mommy Time Out….

Have you ever had a mommy time out?


I’m not talking about when you lock yourself in your bedroom for 5 minutes to secretly eat a chocolate or when you go pee in the guest bathroom because this is the last place your kids will think to look for you… I am a talking about  REAL mommy time out where you leave your family and have some good old alone time for yourself… Where you can bath without interruption.  Sleep late.  Read for hours if that is what you wish.  Go shopping… for things other than food!


I had a mommy time out recently and I am now of the opinion that this THE thing that us moms need most.  Yes we love our husbands, children, dogs, homes and jobs, but for the love of God all of those things can also drive a woman DEMENTED and begging for a fast flow tap on a VAT of wine!

If what I am saying has you nodding your head in agreement, then take it from me… A mommy time out is highly recommended.

I went away BY MYSELF to run the Knysna half marathon in July and it was so divine.


I was joined by a good friend for a few days and I cannot tell you how amazing it was to not have to worry about anyone else other than myself for a while.



I could read all night if I wanted to.  I didn’t have to ask if it was ok for me to go for a run.  I could PEE in PEACE!  I had 15 minute showers.  I drank wine without worrying about having a little bit too much in case one of the kids needed me.


I learnt how to build a fire on my own (granted I used a crap load of firelighters each night) and I was alone with my own thoughts.  I loved it!


This holiday was the best thing I have done for myself and my family in like FOREVER.  I missed them so much, it made me remember what it was that they meant to me.  The break helped me put the drudge of everyday life into its proper perspective.  Lets be honest sometimes we can get so wrapped up in the stress and daily grind that we begin to undervalue the very things that mean the most to us. This break allowed me to focus on fact that “the grind” can steal my everyday joy.

They missed me, it made THEM remember what it is that I mean to them.  I truly believe that having this break has made me a better mom and wife.


The fact that I have an extremely capable husband made going way for 6 days a lot easier.  The fact that he realised I needed some down time was awesome because he totally encouraged me to have this break.  He will be having a similar break when he rides some mountain bike 5 day event in September.

This break has been so good for us both that I am thinking of making it an annual thing.

I probably won’t make it for as long as this break worked out to be (this was purely due to getting cheaper flights) but I am definitely sold on the idea of a mommy time out.


The Crying Game

Recently A month or so ago Stacey did a post about crying and posed the question “when last did you cry?”

It sparked quite a bit of banter on Twitter and honestly there was so much that came out of that conversation that has been bumping around my head that I’ve not quite made sense of.  That I am STILL trying to make sense of.  There were two definite camps, the criers and the non criers.  Criers seemed to be able to cry at the drop of a hat or soppy commercial and the non criers seemed to be devoid of any salt water in their bodies to eeek out.

I am of the non crier camp.  I’ve never been a crier.  I often wonder why this is?  Is it because I grew up with a military father and was taught to be “tough” and that crying doesn’t solve your problems?  Or is it because I am devoid of any crying emotion?  Who knows…

The one thing that did stand out to me was that all of us whether we fell into the crying or non crying camp did not cry in front of our children.  Comments like “I cry in the bath when the kids are asleep” and “I don’t let my kids see me chunking away” really hit me.  Hard.  Criers and non criers alike we did not want our kids to see us “like that”.  WHY??  Because crying is WEAK?  Because crying makes you somehow LESS?  WTF??  We are all trying our damnedest to teach our children to be emotionally intelligent people aren’t we?  Isn’t crying a part of that?  I hear myself berating my kids all too often “why are you crying?” “stop crying” “that’s enough crying”… geesh.  Thinking about it now, I believe that crying SHOULD be an integral part of our emotional quotient.

By hiding ourselves crying from our kids aren’t we somehow leaving out part of that emotional intelligence training we are trying to give them?  The more I think about this the more I really believe it is good for them to see us crying.  To understand that crying in the right environment can be healing.  It can help relieve frustration.  It can help open the dam of grief we may feel about things in our lives.

As a non crier, I worry about how my non crying, hard ass self is going to teach my children this important skill.  So I let those tears that brim in my eyes fall when I’m watching Greys.  I allow myself to cry with a friend who has lost a mom.  I am trying not to hide this part of myself from my family.  From myself for that matter.

It’s probably one of the hardest lessons I’m teaching to both them and myself.  But one I hope I get right…

This year you are FOUR!!!!

Kade Ethan,

2014-10-09 08.54.08Four years ago you entered this world and you made me a mommy.  I had absolutely NO idea what the next four years would hold but boy have you stretched me and molded me as much as I think I have you.

This past year has been a year of such contradiction as you have started finding yourself.  You have pushed the boundaries, driven your father and I up the wall but at the same time have given us such insight into your beautiful little soul.  You are a delight!

2015-01-20 12.49.29I love that you have started having strong opinions about EVERYTHING in life.  What it is you want to watch on TV.  Which book we read to you before bed time.  How we say prayers together. The manner in which I sing our bedtime song.  The clothes you want to wear.  The clothes Gemma must wear.  What is the best toy to throw in the garden for Saffy.  On and on and on – if there is an opinion to be had – you have it.  I love this.  I love that you are exploring your world and are finding your own path in it.  Does it frustrate me at times?  Absolutely!  But I think that is part of the learning for us both.

2015-01-02 14.40.21You are FUNNY!  The things you come out with sometimes I can laugh for days at your sense of humour.  And don’t get me started on those facial expressions…

2015-01-15 17.16.57You are a GREAT big brother.  I can always rely on you to “check what Gemma is up to” and to report back to forth width if she’s doing something you deem wrong or dangerous (even tattle tailing when she’s again feeding Jazzy part of her food).  I love how you and Gems play together now that she is mobile.  How you run around and chase each other and laugh and giggle and screech with joy!  I don’t love having to be your constant referee tho as with most siblings there have been many disagreements and fights over toys (you HATE me putting them into toy jail when you guys can’t share).  Overall what I can already see is that your baby sister will never have to worry about whose got her back.  Cos its you baby, it’s you.

2015-01-23 17.56.032015-02-07 15.11.382015-02-05 06.51.15You have come so far in terms of your swimming this year.  You are a winter baby.  Water is not your first delight.  You are cautious in a pool and honestly I prefer this.  But you have diligently listened to your swimming teacher (even teaching us at home how to use pool noodles correctly with Gemma) and you have streaked ahead with your water confidence.  You waltz into school like you own the place and I am thankful that whilst kisses at home are often stolen you still allow me to kiss you goodbye in your class every day.  You teach us new songs and nursery rhymes and your memory is astounding.

My boy.  My darling boy.

2015-01-26 14.26.08You will never truly understand the depth of my love for you.  But I hope that you will feel it surrounding you wherever you go and how ever old you turn.

2015-01-21 14.24.17Happy Fourth Birthday!





This is something that I have been pondering for AGES as a parent.

In many of the households I know, both parents work and there is a schedule that gets divvied up between the two as to who does what for the kids daily in order for the household to function relatively smoothly.  Everything from work outs for said parents, to packing school lunches and bags to dressing kids gets allocated to a parent and time slot and in most cases one just goes with it.

In our household we also take the different “shifts” on week days. As in the morning shift and the afternoon shift.  The morning shift is handled by myself.  Hubs leaves early (6h20) so he can beat the traffic and I deal with the kids whilst I also try get myself ready and out the door on time (07h20 latest).  Most mornings run relatively smoothly but some mornings are just a disaster.  I find that playing referee whilst in the shower is quite a challenge as I often have to get out mid soap up and handle a spat between the two darlings.  Then getting myself dressed and clad in make up usually involves holding a grumpy, clingy baby toddler whilst the elder kid moans that something isn’t working on the IPAD I’ve given to entertain for 5 minutes so I just slick my mascara on.  There are normally toys strewn all over the floor of my bedroom and the toddler often goes quiet and when I think to find her, she’s unravelled the entire toilet roll all over the bathroom floor.  Or she’s playing with the toilet brush in the toilet with water going EVERYWHERE. (Must remember to close the darn loo lid) Then getting the eldest dressed for school is a circus all of its own.  Nine times out of ten the toddler will make poo half way thru the getting the eldest dressed which means that he runs around like a loon half nekkid, smacking his bum and wiggling his man parts around.  Just try get him to put his clothes on after this.. lets just say there is sometimes a time out and shouting involved. Then tears, mostly his.  Brushing teeth is the next challenge which often ends in tears (again his) because I finished brushing mine before he did or the toothpaste (which is the SAME EVERYDAY) tastes sour, off or like raspberries (WTF?).

Leaving the house is also a palaver.  Getting K to the car is an art of either racing or hop skip jumping or something of the like.  Once we get to school we race or hop skip jump (we aren’t allowed to “step on the lines” but this definition changes day-to-day in K’s rule book) into the class.  By the time I hit the car to head into work I feel like I’ve worked a full day already.  Then I sit for the better part of an hour to two hours in the most aweful traffic.  By the time I get to the office I am FINISHED.  If I’ve managed to eke out a run that morning I’m even MORE FINISHED.

Yesterday I got to do both shifts.

If you follow me on social media you know how *awesome* my morning was.  I was considering cracking open that Tangled Tree wine I got at the momblog meet up at 07h00, so you can understand…

The afternoon shift ROCKS in comparison!!

You fetch the kid from school, you relieve the nanny, you feed the kids and then you play on the lawn or in the toy lounge until “mommy” gets home.  Its AWESOME.  Yes there is still some refereeing to be done and if the toddler hasn’t slept particularly well she’s slightly grumps.  But you get to handle bath and bed time as a team and it’s really smooth sailing.  As the afternoon shift person you also get to make supper while the kids PLAY (quite nicely actually) at your feet in the kitchen on in the “adults” lounge around the corner.

Man alive, I think I pulled the short straw on the whole shift thing!

I suggested a shift swop last night.  Needless to say the man parent IS NOT KEEN on this idea AT ALL!  I wonder why?

Do you have “shifts” in your home too?  Which one do you prefer?