Where on earth did the years go? 32 years ago my mom (my wonderful amazing mom) pushed me out of her womb. 32 years old already. I have a wonderful life. I’m extremely blessed. But at times today as I celebrated with my beloved family and friends, I caught myself being wistful and felt the deep longing I feel ache inside as the day whittled itself away.
I guess part of the reason why I had moments of sadness today was due the fact that should my chemical have been a viable pregnancy I would have been around 32 weeks pregnant today. 32 weeks on my 32nd birthday. Oh the irony. I would have been preparing for the immenent arrival of my baby (or babies) and life would have been a little different. I was chatting to a friend via text two nights ago and I was trying to make rhyme and reason of this journey I find myself on and she said something that resonated within. Infertility is like cancer. It strikes even the best of us. It strikes Godly people. It strikes non Godly people. And there is NO rhyme nor reason in it. At all.
So when I felt myself heading towards the villiage of wistfulness, I looked around at the friends and family who had braved the cold weather (it was 8 degrees C today in SA – brrrrrr. ) to join me at the Walter Sisulu Botanical Gardens for a picnic, and I turned by back on wistfulness and embraced the joy. We found a great spot which maximized the sunshine and minimized the chilly wind and had an AYOBA day. Yes my heart is sore for the babies that never were. But I am undoubtedly blessed. My life is good, I have a great husband (even in the times when he drives me to drink), I have wonderful family, I have friends who love me, I have friends who understand me. And that says something.
I have a renewed strength building inside me. My rainbow farts are building up inside and I’m even releasing some of them. My mustard seeds of faith that Cliff and I will still have our family are starting to germinate and are growing day by day. We’re ready to start planning IVF #6. I will not allow my sadness to steal my joy. Because there is SO MUCH JOY.
Here I sit, 32 years old, watching my national soccer team compete in the Fifa World Cup hosted by our wonderful and amazingly diverse country and I am so grateful for what I DO have in my life.
Happy Birthday to me.
Me and my seestor
Me and my Mommy!
Me and a Special Friend!
Me and mah gals 🙂
Me and my honey pie (not a flattering pic of me)
Me and Peanuttam 🙂
When South AFrica was awarded the Fifa World Cup on the 15th May 2004, it seemed like we had *forever* to wait until it would come.
Six long years, loads of work, upgrades on current stadiums and many brand new world class (in my opinion better than world class) stadiums to build, roads to fix, public transport to upgrade and start. The world cup commitee must have had a quiet panic moment in the face of all they had to do to get ready for this spectacle.
And now? Ke Nako! It’s time! Instead of counting down months and days, we are literally counting down the HOURS to the Opening ceremony.
This week has been HUGE for our country. Besides for all the international teams arriving and the whole country feeling the vibe of the world cup, we also opened our first world class train called the Gautrain to the public. Then yesterday the people of this country rallied around our national soccer team and gave them a boost for their opening match against Mexico tomorrow.
Our team who are probably not going to win the world cup (how amazing if they did??) is bringing our country together. It’s super to see people of every colour driving cars with flags flying in the wind, with mirror socks on their side view mirrors and just getting into the vibe of what is to come.
I am so excited, I am SO freaking proud to be South African right now. I have this feeling that God is using this time to do amazing things. Wonderful things. Healing things.
It’s here! Feel it!
Whilst I’ve been liking being a blonde, it’s a pain in the behind to maintain so today I turned back into a brunette.
The red comes thru nicely in the sunlight 🙂
I have to admit I REALLY prefer myself as a brunette. Besides that whole “blondes have more fun thing” was not accurate in my case 😉
I’ve been meaning to tell you all about our scary (and very expensive) electricity incident we had recently.
I got home from work one night about 3 weeks ago and could smell burning. At first I thought that Cliff had started dinner and forgotten it in the oven, but he had not even taken anything out the freezer as yet. The smell was there but I figured it was from outside and left it at that. We cooked, ate andwatched TV and then went to bed as per normal. At around 02h00 our electricity tripped and Cliff woke up (our alarm system is in our bedroom and when the power trips it makes clicking noise which woke him) and went downstairs to reset it. This happened again at 04h00 and at 06h00 when he went down to feed dogs and get the day going he also smelt buring so turned everything off at the mains.
Later that day an electrician came and our whole DB board was smouldering and had to be placed. At a cost of nearly 10K we were gobsmacked. At least our house never burnt down and now we’re fighting with insurance to pay us out for the replacement board.
What a nightmare!
Two days ago I found out that an old friend of mine died in a car accident on Friday last week.
He was a super person with a larger than life demenour. Someone who always had a smile for you and someone who lived to be the life of the party.
He was 35 years old.
He leaves behind his wife and their two year old twin boys.
Life is too short to waste any time. So life for EVERY moment. Love passionately, laugh freely and most of all be grateful for EVERY second you have in this life. Even the sucky ones. Cos you’re alive and you’re still standing.
RIP my friend. May God hold your wife and your boys in His hands right now.