The truth is…

… that I am floundering.  I really am not sure what the heck I want out of life.  The only thing I *am* sure that I want, I can’t work towards getting right now (cos we’re on a break) and I am floundering… 

I am really not happy at my current job, it pays the bills and it is “ok” but I am bored stiff and while I know with my head that it is not a good time to be looking for jobs right now (cos most people are hanging in there for bonuses and leave) I feel like I really *should* be doing something to get myself out of here… I am seeing an employment agent this afternoon and while I am going to see her I have the distinct impression that I am wasting mine and her time cos I honest to gosh do not know what kind of job I am looking for…  I am trying to get myself set up in this ceramics business but as much as I am excited about the opportunities it presents I am scared shitless about what it entails…

I am feeling weepy today and I’m not sure why… I have a sneaky suspicion that it has something to do with the fact that I pop a little white pill every morning which is supposed to make my body NOT ovulate (pssst, little white pill I can do *that shit* without your help thank you very much), and that I am supposed to get a visit from Aunt Flo in three days time… just in time for our weekend away in Clarens at this divine place… erm not condusive for romance are ya Flo?  

I am irritated that we have been allocated the “sleep 2” chalet at the resort we are going to (and I have NO right whatsoever to be annoyed cos we’re getting this chalet for FREE) cos we are the childless couple of the three that are going away together… I wish it was me who was arranging a cot for our chalet that “sleeps 4” and that we were worried about space in our car cos we had to transport kids…

I am tired all the time, it is a monumental battle to get myself out of bed in the mornings and yes you guessed it I am floundering…  I am wondering if I am in desperate need of a shrink or if I just need to give myself a good old kick up the rear end?

Right now I’m hanging in for our holiday in November and I guess I will re-evaluate after that… but I guess I know that I seriously need to do something about this funk I’m in right now… cos a floundering Sam = unhappy Sam = irritable Sam = big fight with husband to release the tension = unhappy husband and wife and sad hounds in the household of Young… *sigh*

Anyone interested?

In my last post asking for business advise some of you suggested that I set up a page on this here blog so that you can see what I’ve done and maybe, just maybe one of you might be interested in placing some orders for Christmas presents 😉

Well look to the sidebar girls – I’ve done a rudimentary page for you to have a look see – let me know what you think…

And be completely honest guys – if I’m going to make a go at this I need to have constructive cristism…

Toilet Ettiquette

In our offices we have a ladies restroom with three loo’s… I don’t know if it is just here but I have walked into the restroom and subsequently the loo to find someone else in there on a number of occassions!  It freaks my bean!! 

One would think that when you go into a toilet in a PUBLIC place that you would follow the following steps:

1. Enter toilet cubicle
2. CLOSE the door
3. LOCK the door
4. Pull down pants (or hike up skirt dependant on attire)
5. Do business
6. Pull up pants (or hitch down skirt dependant on attire)
7. Flush loo
8. Unlock door
9. Open door
10. Wash hands and primp in front of mirror if that is your thang…

But NO, here at my place of work the sequence is different, it goes a little something like this:

1. Enter toilet cubicle
2. Pull down pants (or hike up skirt dependant on attire)
3. Get interupted by someone else thinking the loo is free cos the bloody door is NOT CLOSED OR LOCKED!!!!
4. Glare at said person and mumble “occupied” or “busy” with all your bits hanging out for the earth to see
5. Do business (grumbling under your breath about how stupid people are to walk in while you’re busy in the TOILET)
6. Pull up pants (or hitch down skirt dependant on attire)
7. Flush loo
8. Walk out (not washing hands – eeewwww – glaring at person who interupted you who *is* washing her hands)

I mean What. The. Heck.

A little weird

Those who know me know that I have dreams that have a tendancy to come true. 

I had a dream about my close friend (the one who I posted about here a while back) that she was pregnant and that she had just found out she was having a little boy.  I told her the next day over coffee that I dreamt she was pregnant and she told me that was not possible as she and her husband were not trying…  Six weeks later she told me that she was seven weeks pregnant.  She went on to birth her son 35 weeks later (he was 2 weeks overdue).  I then had a dream about another friend of mine who was going through IVF (she has no tubes) and I dreamt that she was pregnant with twins and I kept on “seeing” her with a pigeon pair.  I was severely disappointed when her first IVF came back negative but two months later with her second IVF she got a positive beta and was pregnant with twins!  I got the pigeon pair wrong though as she ended up with twin daughters… I then dreamt again of my friend who had her son and dreamt that she was pregnant with a daughter.  At twelve weeks pregnant she called me to say that she was expecting again and that the gynae told her she thought it was a girl…  I’ve got a good trend going here don’t I?

The thing is that I’ve never dreamt of myself being pregnant – ever.  Not once in our over four year journey have I ever dreamt that I will be pregnant.  I’ve hoped, prayed, undergone treatment after treatment but have never dreamt of myself as pregnant.  I’ve often irrationally thought that because I’ve never dreamed it for myself that it would not happen for me… until last night. 

Last night I had a really weird dream.  I dreamt that I was in hospital for some reason and that the doctors were treating me with antibiotics and I had drips hooked up and everything and my uterus was really sore… no-one could figure out what was wrong with me… everyone was looking really worried… then all of a sudden someone asked if I could be pregnant?  I laughed in their face and said me? pregnant?  no way!  But then someone slathered gel all over my belly and used the dildo cam (why on earth would they slather jelly on my belly if they used the dildo cam I have no cooking clue, but anyways I digress) and there was a beautiful baby in my tummy… they declared me 6 weeks 5 days along (also weird cos the baby inside was not a blob but had the classic side view profile shot going down) and I cried and cried and cried… and then I woke up.

I’m thinking that this is just a little weird right?  It seems that as much as I say I am on a ttc break and that I am focusing on not being the infertile couple that my subconscious is still focused on us having that baby…

It will be interesting to see if my dream of my baby is prophetic or not… I’m hoping it is – all of it except the being in hospital undiagnosed that is… 😉

7 Yesterday…

Time sure flies… 7 years ago yesterday I had driven from Joburg to Rustenburg with a hangover from hell due to a huge party I had had the night before to celebrate the fact that I was becoming an aunt… I had to have the windows rolled down in my car cos the alchol fumes were threatening to make me pass out one minute and vomit the next… I made it to the hospital in one piece and ran inside… my sister was still in theatre and my Dad took me to the hospital canteen to soak up some of the alchol with a greasy burger…

Finally we got the news that Michelle had delivered a beautiful baby girl!  We ran (ok so I slothed my way) to the room and hugged her and kissed her and we were so happy!  BUT there was no baby in the room – my gorgeous neice was born via c-section and was in her incubator… MORE WAITING!!!  After what felt like 500 years (but was only 4 hours, hangover brain extends minutes into years) the nurse wheeled this cute monkey into the room and we all goo’ed and gaa’ed over her little crib… My sister in her bed behind us asking to see her baby cos she too had not really seen her properly yet… My Dad crying, my Mom refusing to hand over the baby and me… holding my breath until I turned blue cos I was too scared to breathe on the child and teach her WAY to quickly about being drunk… what a great day it turned out to be!

Happy 7th Birthday child of my heart!  Aunty Sam loves you lots and lots like jelly tots!!

Bliss…

We had such a blissful day yesterday at Mangwanani… *sigh*  the only bad thing is that it is now over and that today I sit at a desk instead of on a bed in the sun soaking up the relaxation and champers…

Thanks girls for such a divine day!!!

Countdown to Heaven begins…

… in just 41 hours Shaz, Tam, Super M and I are heading off to this heavenly place!  I cannot wait, I am going to be pampered and oiled and drink bubbly in the jacuzzi…

Eat your heart’s out girls and boys!!!

Business Advice?

I have committed to having a stand at a local Christmas market in November to showcase my ceramics which will hopefully kick start a business that will support my portion of the bills in the long run so that I no longer have to work where I am currently working… *gets dreamy look in her eyes*

The thing is that I cannot paint hundreds of pieces with the hope of selling them during the market days (I have to pay upfront for my bisque and paints and glazing etc which might result in me being severely out of pocket if I don’t manage to sell anything at all).  What I am planning to do is to paint some really excellent pieces (how vain am I?) that range in design to suit a wide selection of tastes and hopefully sell them all but to also in the process get some orders from people who attend the market (I am having cheapo business cards made for this purpose)…

The deal is that I need to pay the lady who is hosting the market 20% of my sales, but my question is this – does that include any possible orders that I might obtain from the market at a later stage?  Ethically I feel that I need to pay her 20% of the orders that are placed by people while physically at the stall as they will be sales I made directly due to being at her market, but have been confusing myself as to whether these “sales” are considered “proper” sales in terms of the deal?  I 100% feel that any orders I may get from people who have taken my card and contact me *after* the market has concluded are not liable for the 20% commission… I need to iron out these details with her before I confirm the stall to avoid any confusion as to commission rights further down the road.

Advise please – what do you think is the correct method of commission payment in terms of sales vs orders placed?

Proudly South African!

I have never been someone who is the ostrich who sticks her head in the sand to avoid negatives around me, but I think too often we can get caught up in the quicksand of the negative things (and there are many, our crime rate being the most worrisome to me) about our country. 

*But* I also love to focus on the good things about this wonderful land I was born to.  The pride of being a South African runs deep in my veins and after reading this post yesterday, I was inspired to share my reasons for being proudly South African.

   

It is without a shadow of a doubt that God blessed this land with abundant beauty, we have the most amazing sunsets, beaches, flowers, wild life, mountain ranges and open spaces.  We have so much space!  It is truly breathtaking…

  

  

   

  

We are a culturally diverse country – we are not known as the Rainbow Nataion for nothing 😉  Our nation is made of people from all walks of life and different cultures – blacks, whites, indians and coloureds (this is not an offensive term, but is an offical race class in our country) all living side by side in the daily drum beat that is South Africa.  We have 11 official languages and embrace our cultural richness!

    

Plus Nelson Mandela is a South African!

            

We are passionate about our sports!  From our cricketers to our rugby players to our soccer stars, we live to support our favourite teams.  Our rugby players currently hold the title of World Cup Champions, and our Paraolympians have shone brighter than the brightest stars winning a total of 30 medals – 18 of them gold in Beijing recently.  Like any nation when our sports are on a downward spiral our sports stars are often the subject of bad press but at the end of the day, we support them no matter what!

  

South Africa boasts two oscars!  Our most famous export Charlize Theron won for her role in Monster and our very own homegrown movie industry won the oscar for the local movie Tsotsi…

  

There is nothing better than spending your Saturday afternoon on your patio in the gorgoeous sunshine and entertaining your friends by having a braai (barbeque).  The smell of boerewors braaiing brings back so many childhood memories and if by chance your neighbours are braaiing and the smell wafts over and creeps up your nostrils – I can guarantee you that your tummy will rumble and you’ll be keen to braai as well!

   

We have cool South African slang which encompass words like “howzit?” (how are you?), “eish” (crap, crikey, crumbs etc), “haibo!” (oh my gosh or such like) and often use many of our languages all together when talking to each other ” I’m going to moer you stukkend” (I’m going to hit you broken – literal translation for those english teachers out there 😉 ).  We have some great Afrikaans sayings that just are not the same in any other language ie: “gaan kak in die mielies” (go crap in the meilies)

We have Mrs Balls Chutney, NikNaks and Rooibos tea… AND biltong – who could forget biltong?  An afternoon of sport is just not the same without it to snack on…

    

We are SO blessed to be living in a country where we have the best weather (even in winter it does not get too cold), the best people and the best views… I love being a South African and pray that the negative issues we have in this country can be sorted out…

Viva SA!!  Viva!!

Sometimes ppl should just keep quiet!

I’m pleased to say that the kitchen counters are fixed to my satisfaction *and* Cliff thanked me for being an anal retentive wife cos he thinks the new one is better (trying so hard not to say “I told you so” but babe, “I told you so!!”)… thankfully we can put that little debacle behind us!

In other news I went to my cousin’s son’s birthday party yesterday… now all of my family know we’ve been battling to fall pregnant for a looonng time, but sometimes people should just keep quiet… after being told that we are seeking fertility treatment one of the other mum’s advised me to try clomid – according to her it is fail proof… erm, well lovies been there tried that nearly 4 years ago and believe me it is most certainly *not* fail proof…

Then as we were leaving my cousin’s husband tells us to just keep on having fun trying – I mean come on!  He knows we’ve been through 1 x fresh IVF cycle and 1 x frozen cycle this year alone and I’ve explained in detail how sex does not get me pregnant!!  Then my uncle tells me that I must not be a “goodie two shoes” in bed, as soon as I act like a “slut in bed” I’ll fall pregnant… really??  REALLY???

You would think that sometimes people would rather just keep quiet!