A year on…

Bug,

A year ago you entered this world at 18h16 on the 03rd June and you made me a Mommy.   Whilst you were growing in my belly, you had already started to heal my hurts in so many ways, but I was completely unprepared for the force with which your entering this world would effect me.

It has been my honor and my privilege to journey with you on this ride called motherhood.  You’ve taught me that I can function (albeit rather sketchily) on VERY little sleep, you’ve taught me that I will do anything for you – even if that would hypothetically mean throwing myself in front of a moving train to save your life.  You are everything I imagined you’d be and more.  More awesome. More beautiful.  More funny.  More delicious.  More inquisitive.  More, more, more.  You make my heart SO full.

You have a smile that lights up this world and you know how to use it.  I will turn around to see you looking at me and you’ll break out that smile of yours and I’m mush.  Melted into a puddle on the floor.

For some strange reason, you equate the couch with your own version of wrestle mania.  You throw your body around on the couch and face plant into the pillows amidst fits of giggles.

That laugh.  Oh how I love your laugh.  It’s a perfect cross between a mischievous chuckle and bubbly giggle.  It makes my heart happy to hear that laugh.  Even when I’ve had the kakkest day, that laugh brings out my inner happy.

You’ve been walking now for about three and a half weeks – you are always SO darn proud of yourself.  I love that you are joyful and proud of your feats.  I hope you never lose this joy in yourself.  You and your body are amazing, I hope that I can teach you to remember this every day of your life.

This weekend was all about celebrating you and the last year we’ve spent being your Mommy and Daddy.  I could not understand why I was feeling so emotional and tearful on Saturday as we prepped everything for your party.  I never felt far from tears and I guess that was largely because I am just so damn thankful that I have you in my life.  For too many years, I could only dream about what it would be like to be celebrating a first birthday of my son.  And now I am living that dream.   It’s quite overwhelming.

I love you my boy.  I never let a day go by without telling you how much I love you.  I know I’m going to make mistakes along the way, and that at some point you’re going to wail something along the lines of “mom, you’re embarrassing me….” but I am going to make very sure that you never ever forget how much you are loved and treasured.

You are and always will be my little bug, my monkey bum, my stinky poo and pumpkin pie.  Thank you for choosing me to be your Mommy.  I hope you enjoyed your first year with me as much as I did with you.

I cannot wait to see where the next year takes us.

Love Mommy

xxx

Have yourself a Merry Lil’ Christmas…

It’s no secret that I love Christmas.

I love it for many reasons.  First and foremost, I love Christmas because it’s an outward showing of the love I have for my Saviour who was born into this world to die for my sins. And yes, I know he wasn’t actually born on this day but the symbolism of it holds true for me.

I love Christmas cos its a special time that I get to spend with my family.  My big, mad, crazy family.  As a Curley tradition we always used to wake up early on Christmas morning, head to church and when we got home we’d crack a bottle of bubbly, mix with OJ and toast while opening pressies.  We still do this every year.  We have a massive Christmas lunch with loads of laughing, joking and EATING and then we all sit and lie together on couches, some of us have naps, we talk, we tickle each other but most importantly we love on each other.

As Cliff and I got further and further into our infertility journey, I still loved Christmas but it started to become a time of sadness mixed with the joy for us.  We used to be reminded of the fact that we were the ones without children over and over.  And we all know “Christmas is all about the kids” right?  It became a time of year that I stopped looking forward to.  I used to head into each Christmas with the thought that next year would be our year and when it wasn’t I would spiral further into the despair…

Last Christmas I was pregnant, happily so and I was just so darn glad that I could embrace the joy that Christmas was for me again.  I had experienced my last major pregnancy bleed and my child was growing in my tummy.  I could let myself drown in the happiness of it all.  This year, I know I’m gonna have to take a trailer with to my Mom’s house to cart all the pressies home.  Cos this year, my son will be entering into the Christmas mayhem with us.  I look at him as we draw closer and closer to this special day and I fall to my knee’s with gratitude.  I cannot believe that we hit the jackpot so to speak and that we are so blessed.  I sink into my happiness like an addict sinking into a high.

But I also take a step back to think of those who are still in the trenches of infertility.  Of the joy that is robbed of them at this time of year.  My wish for all of you who are still trying to make or add to your families; is that your deepest desire’s are fulfilled in the coming year.  That next year will be a Christmas of unending joy and gratitude.

So from me and mine, to you and yours “Have yourself a Merry Lil’ Christmas”

Friday Blessing

I’ve not done one of these in a while but today I am extremely grateful for the following blessing:

Mine has cooked three nights in a row this week.  I’m SO blessed and lucky to have a hubby who cooks, I cannot imagine how working women whose hubby’s don’t cook do it.  I could never face having to only get home after 18h00 after battling traffic to only then have to put food on the stove every night.  Admittedly this is what happens on the evenings I do cook but  most of the time by the time I get home hubby has already got our evening meal on the go.

Thanks my love!  You’ve come a long way 🙂

This week’s blessings…

…or most of them.  I forgot to take some photo’s cos I’ve been running out the house extra early this week to give a lift to a colleague to lives close to me… so without further ado, this weeks blessings!

Cos our close friends bought us full body massages so we could "chill"

Cos through it all there's him and I, still together.

Personally I'm more of a barefoot girl but none the less...

And the final one I managed to snap this morning before coming to work:

And it's a long weekend here in SA so WHOO HOOO!

 

Hope you all are enjoying your blessings!

Blessings

It’s no secret that we’ve been through a little bit of the ringer of late.  But whilst our hearts are in the process of healing and we digest all we’ve been through in the last two months, I also wanted to remember that we are very blessed.  In many ways.

To that end I decided to write up a daily blessing on our black board in the kitchen, so that we would be reminded of the things that make our lives so good amidst the turmoil.

These are the first few that we’ve come up with… (picture quality sucks apologies, taken with my cell phone)

I’m hoping to continue with this daily blessing reminder to ourselves for a long time to come…

What are your blessings today?