A year ago you entered this world at 18h16 on the 03rd June and you made me a Mommy. Whilst you were growing in my belly, you had already started to heal my hurts in so many ways, but I was completely unprepared for the force with which your entering this world would effect me.
It has been my honor and my privilege to journey with you on this ride called motherhood. You’ve taught me that I can function (albeit rather sketchily) on VERY little sleep, you’ve taught me that I will do anything for you – even if that would hypothetically mean throwing myself in front of a moving train to save your life. You are everything I imagined you’d be and more. More awesome. More beautiful. More funny. More delicious. More inquisitive. More, more, more. You make my heart SO full.
You have a smile that lights up this world and you know how to use it. I will turn around to see you looking at me and you’ll break out that smile of yours and I’m mush. Melted into a puddle on the floor.
For some strange reason, you equate the couch with your own version of wrestle mania. You throw your body around on the couch and face plant into the pillows amidst fits of giggles.
That laugh. Oh how I love your laugh. It’s a perfect cross between a mischievous chuckle and bubbly giggle. It makes my heart happy to hear that laugh. Even when I’ve had the kakkest day, that laugh brings out my inner happy.
You’ve been walking now for about three and a half weeks – you are always SO darn proud of yourself. I love that you are joyful and proud of your feats. I hope you never lose this joy in yourself. You and your body are amazing, I hope that I can teach you to remember this every day of your life.
This weekend was all about celebrating you and the last year we’ve spent being your Mommy and Daddy. I could not understand why I was feeling so emotional and tearful on Saturday as we prepped everything for your party. I never felt far from tears and I guess that was largely because I am just so damn thankful that I have you in my life. For too many years, I could only dream about what it would be like to be celebrating a first birthday of my son. And now I am living that dream. It’s quite overwhelming.
I love you my boy. I never let a day go by without telling you how much I love you. I know I’m going to make mistakes along the way, and that at some point you’re going to wail something along the lines of “mom, you’re embarrassing me….” but I am going to make very sure that you never ever forget how much you are loved and treasured.
You are and always will be my little bug, my monkey bum, my stinky poo and pumpkin pie. Thank you for choosing me to be your Mommy. I hope you enjoyed your first year with me as much as I did with you.
I cannot wait to see where the next year takes us.