It’s no secret that I love Christmas.
I love it for many reasons. First and foremost, I love Christmas because it’s an outward showing of the love I have for my Saviour who was born into this world to die for my sins. And yes, I know he wasn’t actually born on this day but the symbolism of it holds true for me.
I love Christmas cos its a special time that I get to spend with my family. My big, mad, crazy family. As a Curley tradition we always used to wake up early on Christmas morning, head to church and when we got home we’d crack a bottle of bubbly, mix with OJ and toast while opening pressies. We still do this every year. We have a massive Christmas lunch with loads of laughing, joking and EATING and then we all sit and lie together on couches, some of us have naps, we talk, we tickle each other but most importantly we love on each other.
As Cliff and I got further and further into our infertility journey, I still loved Christmas but it started to become a time of sadness mixed with the joy for us. We used to be reminded of the fact that we were the ones without children over and over. And we all know “Christmas is all about the kids” right? It became a time of year that I stopped looking forward to. I used to head into each Christmas with the thought that next year would be our year and when it wasn’t I would spiral further into the despair…
Last Christmas I was pregnant, happily so and I was just so darn glad that I could embrace the joy that Christmas was for me again. I had experienced my last major pregnancy bleed and my child was growing in my tummy. I could let myself drown in the happiness of it all. This year, I know I’m gonna have to take a trailer with to my Mom’s house to cart all the pressies home. Cos this year, my son will be entering into the Christmas mayhem with us. I look at him as we draw closer and closer to this special day and I fall to my knee’s with gratitude. I cannot believe that we hit the jackpot so to speak and that we are so blessed. I sink into my happiness like an addict sinking into a high.
But I also take a step back to think of those who are still in the trenches of infertility. Of the joy that is robbed of them at this time of year. My wish for all of you who are still trying to make or add to your families; is that your deepest desire’s are fulfilled in the coming year. That next year will be a Christmas of unending joy and gratitude.
So from me and mine, to you and yours “Have yourself a Merry Lil’ Christmas”