Lost my cool

Totally lost my cool with a colleague today…

I’m so annoyed with myself for losing it the way I did but I guess I have been holding this anger that I feel towards him in for ages so it is not surprising that I lost it… but I still hate losing my cool with people I work with…

A while ago this person went to the acting manager (behind my back) and complained about me saying that I did not do enough and I did not do any work and that he had “done his investigations into me” (read : had gone to HR and asked them to check my paperwork!!) and that in his opinion I did not do what he knows an “X”  to do… he complained about me in an open meeting with the other assistant manager who also then jumped on the band wagon and complained and who said if that was true and my title was truly “X” that he was also pissed that I was not doing what they thought I shoud be doing…

The acting manager called me in the next day and asked me about this and I told him that I was very surprised that it had taken the initial complainer since October last year to realise what my title was and to complain about it.  Now admittedly when one hears my title one does get a perception of what I am “supposed” to do, but when I started working here I negotiated a different job spec and the ONLY reason I was given “X” title was becuase the GM and Operations Manager felt it had to be “X” to justify my salary (which is a reasonably good one).  I also stated this for the record with the acting manager but also told him catagorically that I really don’t give a flying fig what my title is – I am doing the job I was hired to do and that is listed in my job description and he can call me the “tea maker” if it was THAT big an issue…

Well this afternoon while checking up that the initial complainant had done what he was supposed to have done, he arrogantly told me to brief the staff… so I said to him ” XXX, surley you have read the function sheet and know what to brief the staff about” and he just looked at me and was like “no YOU can do something for once and brief the staff”… I duly briefed the staff and then he came to me and complained that I had spoken to him badly and should not have asked him if he read his fucntion sheet and that my attitude to him stinks… I let rip, I told him that I was not willing to deal with a back stabber who can run to the operations manager and my acting manager behind my back to complain about me and that I thought it was shocking that he did not have the guts to tell me his issues to my face. (little bit of double standards there on my side cos I was not willing to confront him about his complaint in the first place *blush*)  It ended up getting quite heated and I feel bad now that I lost it to that extent with him… BUT I am glad that I got it out and off my chest… it has been brewing for a while, bubbling under the surface and a good air clearing was probably in order, but I wish that I had remained calm and rational when going through it with him…

I have been working on this particular aspect of myself (cos it is not so nice this tendancy to give into my temper) but clearly that Irish blood of mine can still get riled up all to easily sometimes!