Hello Google :)

Time for another round up of funny/strange search terms that led people to my modest little blog… in some cases I’m sure they did not get quite what they were looking for but anyway, I hope they enjoyed their stay regardless 😉

There are A LOT of people who google “embarrassing stories”, or “embarrassing tampon stories”, or “embarrrassing pantie stories” – thank heavens I am not alone in this area of life – I feel better knowing that there are LOADS of us out there… erm, unless the people who are googling those search phrases are sicko’s… in that case “take a hike jack off’s”, nothing for you to see here….

And absolutely EVERYONE (ok so 98% of the bloggin world) loves my red hair – even the googler who asked to see a “foxy redhead” and got to see my mugg shot – lucky boy!!!  Or girl!!!

I’m a bit confused about this one – “ocd peeing”?  I did not even know one could do that, but I for one would think that if you are peeing compulsively and obsessively it cannot be good for one’s bladder… if you are peeing excessively – you might be pregnant, but you might also just be drinking a lot of water which I know from personal experiece causes one to “pee like a racehorse”… but ocd peeing?  That one still stumps me…

“Hair everywhere” – I have a quick and simple solution – get a wax… or check out my hair do’s and vote for dark brunette already!  I *really* am enjoying myself as a dark brunette and so far only 2 or 3 girls agree… so vote dammit! Vote!

I can so relate to this googler, it seems she too is “surrounded by fertile people” and I can say with 100% certainty that the googler was a woman cos I sure as crumbs have never heard a man complaining about all those fertile people out there… Hmmm, maybe that pregnant man did before he managed to fall pregnant but surely he would have been the only one right?  Sorry my dear – this crummy thing about being infertile is that we will always be surrounded by those who are fertile… try not cry too obviously when you see them… I find that dark glasses work to hide my red eyes… and pretending you’ve got flu works too…

Someone wanted to know “can melted ice cream be frozen again” and why yes it can be dear googler, BUT it gets all crusty and sometimes glazier like and I personally WILL NOT eat ice cream like that… keep that in mind for when you’re entertaining – ok?

Gosh knows we all know where this googler is coming from cos much like her we have all “squeezed nipples & 2ww”… Nuff said…. *guilty furtive look over shoulder*

Dear googler, I’m not quite sure what “itchy ovaries” are but I would like to know how on earth you eased them… it’s not like you can ask your partner to scratch them for you know can ya? 

And lastly to the person who googled “I’m 16 and get bad thoughts in my head”  please speak to someone you trust (a friend, teacher, aunt, pastor etc) about those bad thoughts… We have all got bad thoughts in our heads at some point in our lives – the trick is not to let them govern us or our actions… if the bad thoughts relate to sex, that is completely natural but again rather chat to someone about them so you can process… I pray that your situation is not overwhelming and that you will find peace and comfort…

Oh wait… for that person who wanted to find a “baby making recipe”  if you find one that does not involve “relaxing”, “just adopting and you’ll fall pregant”, or “going on holiday” (even though I *will* be doing that soon) let me know ok… I’d be interested to try it…

What funny / weird search term has been *your* all time favourite?

14 thoughts on “Hello Google :)

  1. those are all so funny. someone found by blog by searching “apron after child birth.” which refers to the empty belly afterwards!

    re:your last post- i don’t think you are statistically unlucky insofar as IVF, FET (as far is IF in general….). if you look at the CDC rates that clinics have to post…you’re right on track.
    and in fact, though it may not feel like it, you are statisically lucky-women who make lots of eggies-statistically-EVENTUALLY- get pregnant and carry to term. i made 3 measley eggs and i was cancelled. and then, well you know how it ends. : )

    which reminds me—i honestly do not know about your IF history nor your hubbies….but unless your endo is bad..i would keep trying. can’t you take clomid and then a trigger shot? or has that not worked?? i hope this isn’t too much a$$vice-but i am sure you get why i beleive in trying during rest cycles. and we weren’t trying and hadn’t been for months. in fact, i was drinking adn even smoking occasionally. i didn’t do one thing to try except have sexy time. it wasn’t conscious. so, you could still take a bit of a break.

    i mean, i’m just saying.


  2. Sam, I”m definitley going to have to blog about this after ready both your and Elize’s funny searches, I’ve also had some brilliant ones. One that KEEPS coming up for me and I don’t know why is Bilton and Pregnancy???!! WTF??


  3. Okay I take that back.. I figured out how to see how people found my blog…

    I have the BEST one ever..

    “Where can you get pretend babies that pee?”

    OMFG!!! I am dying here. That is hysterical.

    But the ones that make me sad are… “why do IUI’s fail?” I got a bunch of those. :(……


  4. Hopefully there’s more than a prison at McAlester….otherwise my ‘what to say to toddlers’ was my most scary search term.

    Most political ‘UK Embassy Tbilisi useless’ (bet he didn’t find what he was looking for)

    No really funny ones so far, but I plan on leaving enough random labels to start a collection.

    Yours made me howl. I have to go now though, as I have an itchy ovary.


  5. I just had a BRILLIANT one………..
    i always look sad but im not, its my face!
    Hahahaha! Shame man. What’s even more sad? Why did my blog come up for that?


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