Kids = Grey Hairs and Wrinkles

Five years ago I had no wrinkles despite being in my 30’s and I certainly didn’t have any grey hair to speak of.  At the tender age of 38 I have my fair share of wrinkles laugh lines and if I don’t colour my hair consistently you can see more than a sprinkle of silver in my hair.  I totally blame my kids for this!

I love them, I love them so damn much, but this is where the problem stems from because kids being kids they do shit that gets them hurt, they do shit that turns you into a human Spiderman as you leap over tables to catch the very chairs they are falling with onto hard bricks and in the process you get wrinkles and many a grey hair!

This last weekend I got about 500 million more wrinkles and grey hairs.  We took the kids to Lifestyle for ice creams and for them to burn off some energy at the playground and to have a few rides on the rides in the little fun fair they have there. (Am I the only one who thinks they are rather dear in their prices for said rides?)

Kade rode the caterpillar which he absolutely loves.  All was good, as we were heading to his next ride of choice – the race cars/go carts – Gemma saw me and started throwing a thrombie for me to ride in the train with her.  Quick parent swop done and dusted and off Gems and I went while Cliff took Kade to the race cars.  Kade rides those cars EVERY THURSDAY afternoon while he is with my in laws.  EVERY THURSDAY!

Well I am not exactly sure what happened (and neither is Cliff as he was watching Gems and I on the train) but as I got off the train one of the attendants comes to me and says “your son is with your husband in the bathroom mam” and I was like cool beans, then he says “don’t be alarmed but he had an accident”.  HEART STOP RIGHT THERE!  I was imagining having to deal with another spica cast all over again and rushed to see what was going down.

I could hear Kade screaming and crying and Cliff trying to calm him down in the paraplegic loos.  As I walk in all I see is the blood all over Cliff’s shirt and all over the basin.  Kade had somehow crashed into the barrier and smashed his face into the steering wheel of the car.  I’m normally the accident mom, the one who stays calm, deals with the situation efficiently and effectively.  I looked into my child’s mouth and wanted to pass out.  It was like a train wreck in there.  It looked like a chipped tooth was hanging by a thread, the gums were all bleeding and badly bruised and his two teeth that flanked the gap left by his baby teeth that had gone home to the tooth fairy looked like they had been smashed out of their roots.  I won’t lie, I was scared shitless that something was badly broken but was trying not to show it.

A trip to the ER where we were told that there was nothing they could do, except refer us to see a dentist I then tried to find an emergency dentist.  One would think that would not be a problem right?  Wrong!  After calling nine different places and “emergency dental” numbers, we finally got a consult yesterday mid morning.  Xrays show that there doesn’t seem to be any permanent damage and whilst the two teeth have moved it won’t be the end of the world if they fall out or need to removed.  As for nerve damage to the new tooth that was coming up, we will only know once the tooth comes up properly.

I am so relieved that all is well but man alive, I really could have done without the added 20 years to my life!

How was YOUR weekend?

 

A whole hand!

Kade Ethan,

On the 3rd June you turned FIVE.

You will find out in time as you get older that your mother has many grand intentions on getting things done at specific times and that sometimes it just takes her a while to get them done.  Like this blog post.  The intention was to write my annual birthday letter to you on the 2nd June and have it post on the 3rd… well… clearly that didn’t quite happen.  It’s taken me 38 years to realise that sometimes it’s ok to let go of the grand intentions and that as long as what needs to get done, gets done in the end, that the world won’t stop turning on its axis and the tides will not stop rolling in and out.  That’s your five year old lesson from your old mom.  Anyway enough said on that matter…

You entered into your fifth year with two wobbly teeth (the bottom two) and shortly after you had your birthday you fell at school knocked the one especially wobbly one and your teacher had to pull it out.  You were freaking out about the blood but as soon as the tooth was out you were as proud as punch!

You’ve had your first brush with ringworm and for the first winter in two years you had a bad chest infection again.

You are in perpetual motion.  You never stop moving, even when you are supposed to be watching a movie you are constantly up and down, jumping around and when I ask you to calm down you state calmly “I cannot mom, I am run by an engergizer bunny”

You are so smart, you have me gawking at you in amazement somethings with the things you come out with.  You have a delightful sense of humour and you have me giggling often at your silly jokes.  You are a good friend to your little buddies.  You are loyal and steadfast and I am so very proud of the boy you are turning out to be.

You take your job as big brother very seriously and you always insist on walking Gemma to her class every morning at school and your teacher tells me you check on her a few times during the day.  You fight like cat and dog over the silliest things (and drive me to my fair share of wine because of it) but at the end of the day, you always have your little sister’s back.  That is a great quality to have my boy.

You can drive me absolutely batty, but with one little smile and side eye wink you have my heart melted in a way that I don’t think another living soul will ever be able to manage.  I love you monkey bum, my defender of the faith.

May your 5th year be your most special one yet!

Lots of love

Mom

xxx

 

 

Happiness is… a Bunk Bed

Kade has been bugging us for a bunk bed FOREVER!

One of his friends got one about a year and a half a go and every time we would go over for a playdate ALL I would hear about was how cool Morgie’s bed is and “Morgie has a bunk bed”, “I had so much fun on Morgie’s bunk bed” and then would come the whining and pleading for a bunk bed of his own.

Look, I don’t blame the kid!  When I was little ALL I WANTED was a bunk bed.

We’ve been doing our research on bunk beds but holy moly guys, I am not sure if bunk beds these days are made of pure gold but gees louise they are EXPENSIVE!!!  Then you’ve got the added expense of the mattresses and new bedding.  It wasn’t looking so positive for our boy child to get his wish and I was bracing myself for another year of bunk bed whingeing…

Then an unexpected bonus payment happened and we did some more research found a reasonably priced (but well made) option and we bit the bullet and ordered the bed for Kade.  We told him it was his birthday present and that he would get it a bit early and then everyday since we’ve been asked “is it bunk bed day yet?”

Yesterday was bunk bed day!

He is SO chuffed with it.  He insisted on sleeping on the top bunk last night (my shattered nerves!) and even wanted Gemma to sleep on the bottom bunk. (she did not, she slept in her cot but we will soon transition her to his old “big bed” *sob*)

He is in love with his new (very cool) bedding and I am so happy that he’s happy.

There really is nothing quite like that joy you get when you are able to make your kids day.

This year you are FOUR!!!!

Kade Ethan,

Four years ago you entered this world and you made me a mommy.  I had absolutely NO idea what the next four years would hold but boy have you stretched me and molded me as much as I think I have you.

This past year has been a year of such contradiction as you have started finding yourself.  You have pushed the boundaries, driven your father and I up the wall but at the same time have given us such insight into your beautiful little soul.  You are a delight!

I love that you have started having strong opinions about EVERYTHING in life.  What it is you want to watch on TV.  Which book we read to you before bed time.  How we say prayers together. The manner in which I sing our bedtime song.  The clothes you want to wear.  The clothes Gemma must wear.  What is the best toy to throw in the garden for Saffy.  On and on and on – if there is an opinion to be had – you have it.  I love this.  I love that you are exploring your world and are finding your own path in it.  Does it frustrate me at times?  Absolutely!  But I think that is part of the learning for us both.

You are FUNNY!  The things you come out with sometimes I can laugh for days at your sense of humour.  And don’t get me started on those facial expressions…

You are a GREAT big brother.  I can always rely on you to “check what Gemma is up to” and to report back to forth width if she’s doing something you deem wrong or dangerous (even tattle tailing when she’s again feeding Jazzy part of her food).  I love how you and Gems play together now that she is mobile.  How you run around and chase each other and laugh and giggle and screech with joy!  I don’t love having to be your constant referee tho as with most siblings there have been many disagreements and fights over toys (you HATE me putting them into toy jail when you guys can’t share).  Overall what I can already see is that your baby sister will never have to worry about whose got her back.  Cos its you baby, it’s you.

You have come so far in terms of your swimming this year.  You are a winter baby.  Water is not your first delight.  You are cautious in a pool and honestly I prefer this.  But you have diligently listened to your swimming teacher (even teaching us at home how to use pool noodles correctly with Gemma) and you have streaked ahead with your water confidence.  You waltz into school like you own the place and I am thankful that whilst kisses at home are often stolen you still allow me to kiss you goodbye in your class every day.  You teach us new songs and nursery rhymes and your memory is astounding.

My boy.  My darling boy.

You will never truly understand the depth of my love for you.  But I hope that you will feel it surrounding you wherever you go and how ever old you turn.

Happy Fourth Birthday!

Love

Mommy

xxx

Baby vs Toddler Balancing Act

Being a mom of two takes some fine balancing at times.  I am the baby of my own family and growing up my sister would often wail “you’re showing favourites to Sam cos she’s the baby”.  Naturally I would always disagree with this notion most vehemently but now that I am a mom of two myself I can see where my poor sister was coming from.

As soon as that second child is placed in your arms you start trying to learn the fine art of balancing the protective mamma bear of baby vs toddler.   Or at least I did.  Kade was nearly 3 when Gemma was born – he is a boisterous boy child.  Always on the move, always jumping, running, pouncing… I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to say “gently my boy, gently” when it comes to Gemma.  Or “watch your feet, you nearly kicked your sister in the head”  or “watch out you’ve nearly run over your sister with your bike”… I am a stuck record “be careful, be gentle, be careful, be careful, be careful” It’s never ending.

The fact is he is bigger than she is.  He knows how to use his body, she doesn’t so I am inclined to jump in to protect her from him because of it… the thing is this.  I don’t want him to feel like I am constantly on his case and “showing favourites” with her.  How do I balance this very real need to temper his boisterousness around her?  I don’t want to stop his natural want to show his love for her.   I don’t want him to feel like her can’t play with or interact with her because of this.

As she’s gotten older and has started grabbing and pinching I am making sure that I admonish her too when she grabs a fistful of his hair or when she pinches him.   But I still find myself saying things to him like “she’s just a baby my boy, she doesn’t understand why its wrong”.  Protecting her and “taking her side” over his.

This morning Kade and I were messing around in our bed while Cliff gave Gemma her morning bottle.  I was wrestling with him and was “holding him prisoner” with my legs and arms wrapped around his body.  When Gemma came to join us (was handed over by Cliff) he wanted to put Gemma in “brother prison” (I was calling what we were doing mommy prison) and he was pulling and tugging at her and she wasn’t liking it.  He was just playing with her (not too roughly but not too gently either) and I found myself jumping to her defense “cos she’s just a baby”…

Holy moly, how on earth do I find the balance in this situation?  I know it’s going to be a lifetime of playing referee between them, but I also really want to be fair to them both.  I do not want him thinking she’s my favourite because of this.  There is no favourite child – I love them both so much, so desperately, so differently…

What do you other moms of two or more do?  Do you just leave them to sort it out on their own (within reason)?  Have you found the balance with this?  Please share if you have!

HELP!

Another awesome first…

This weekend was another jam packed one, so much so that I didn’t have any time to put on my running shoes to hit the road with my last “long” run before attempting the Soweto half this coming weekend.

What it was jam packed with though was some pretty awesome moments spent with family and friends.  For many years I wondered if I would get to experience the many awesome firsts that parents got to experience.  Last year I was super excited to hear that Kade’s school was hosting a school concert.  Only to be crushed super disappointed to hear that the class Kade as in did not take part in the school concerts (which I know actually believe to be the right tack)  But I digress… so bright and early on Saturday morning we all woke up and undertook the massive task of getting all of us ready, fed (we only managed to feed the kids) and to the school by 08h15 sharp (geesh anyone ever try get a toddler with too long hair which needed to be gelled up, a 9 month old baby who is due a morning nap at the VERY time you have to be at the school and two adults to an event that early before?)

We dropped Kade in his class to get dressed for the show and went to find our seats.  It was SO surreal to think that here we were attending our son’s first school concert with a baby in tow!  Me, the infertile, waiting with anticipation to watch MY child in his first show.  I was nervous for my child as we had not been hearing much practicing of songs at home and he needs time to settle himself and will do things when he is good and ready for it.  I had thought that he would be one of the kids who cried or got stage fright when faced with the prospect of having all these people looking at him.

My son totally surprised me!

He was SO confident.

He was SO charming.

He sang SO loud and was SO proud of himself.

I tell you I nearly came undone when he had been put into place on the stage and he scanned the faces watching him and finding mine, waved gleefully at me!  I will never under estimate this child of mine again.  My heart swelled with SO much pride and my eyes filled with tears at the simple joy of watching these gorgeous three year old children perform their hearts out for us.

What an amazing new “first” to have experienced with my little guy!

Today you’re THREE!

My Dearest Kade

Today you are THREE!

It truly boggles my mind that you have been in our lives for three years already.  Three years have sped past and often I look at you and I just cannot believe I got so lucky.  So incredibly blessed.

You have literally exploded this year.  I think back to how you were just a mere year ago and I have to wonder how you are the same little person.  Last year was a year of screaming/crying/vomiting school drop offs whereas this year you happily walk into school and kiss us goodbye with no qualms in the world.  I definitely think skipping you a class was the BEST thing we ever did as you are now stimulated and love interacting at school.  You love jumping!  From the stool to the couch.  On the bed.  On a trampoline.  On a jumping castle.  As a boy who just a year ago had a broken femur I cannot explain how HAPPY this movement with NO fear makes me.

I am loving discovering how your little mind works.  The way you think about things before you talk and the way you process every little detail is fascinating.

I love that you seem to be like your old mom and have a love for words.  You keep on asking us to give you “big words” to say and you enunciate them so, so well.  You love animals and are very keen to do our “boxes for the poor kids” again this year.  You have such a giving little heart, I worry that you will be taken advantage of as you grow older but as much as I worry, I hope that this is a quality you will never lose.

In the last year you endured a broken leg, a stay in hospital for bronchial pneumonia, major household renovations, my pregnancy and the entry of your sister into our lives with aplomb.  You seem to take everything that happens in your life in complete stride, by first watching and evaluating the situation and then deciding to just be ok with it.  I’m not saying we’ve not had our “moments” but overall you handle life’s obstacles really well.

You are now very nearly fully potty trained (just wearing a night nappy).  You were SO excited to wear undies and despite your persistent habit of being too busy playing/running around/watching TV to tell us you need a wee and hold it in because you are scared you are going.to.miss.something you are a champ in this department!  I cannot tell you how proud I am of you.

You are THE BEST big brother ever.

I was worried that you would battle to adjust to Gemma and having to share us with her.  You were our complete focus for so long but you have amazed me at how fiercely you love your sister.  How accepting you are of the fact that she needs me more right now cos she is little.  Nothing warms my heart more than to see you interact with her and how proud you are of “mine Gemma”.  And let me tell you something my boy, that little girl loves you fiercely back.  Her little face lights up when she see’s you and she laughs and giggles with you all the time.  As a mother, this makes me SO SO joyful.

My boy.  You are truly my gift from above.  God answered my hearts desires three years ago when He chose me to be your mother.  You are stubborn (just like mommy and daddy), you know what you want, you are determined, you are expressive, you are affectionate, you are loving, you are so open to living this life every moment.  You have a smile that could melt a thousand icebergs.

 

I cannot wait to see what the next year has in store for you as you grow and mature. I love you more than that!  To the moon and back.  Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis big.

Thank you for being my boy.

Easter 2014

I went way overboard with Easter this year mostly because its been the first year that Kade could take part in an Easter egg hunt because last year he was immobile.

As soon as Woolies started putting out their awesome Easter stuff this year I started buying it.  Windmills, glow in the dark eggs, the bug eggs, you name it I bought it.

I had so much fun with it this year.  Telling Kade about the Easter bunny and also explaining that it is actually all about Jesus who died for us and rose again.  I got to make an Easter hat with him this year (we missed this also cos of the broken femur last year) and we had fun hyping it all up for him.

We let him plant “magic jelly beans” in the garden on Saturday night.  We told him that something wonderful would grow in those spots.  He was so careful to plant them well and to water them just right!

He was so excited to find bunnies and eggs and windmills in the spots he had planted his magic beans, it was so wonderful to watch.  He was convinced that he had seen the Easter bunny running around in our garden.  “It was THIS big Mommy”.

For so many years I didn’t believe that I would be able to see the simple joy in occasions such as these because I wasn’t sure if we would have children, so being able to foster his imagination with tales of a bunny who hides chocolate eggs in our garden is a true honor and privilege.

Next year tho I will be taking it easy on the eggs cos to be fair he cannot eat all the treats himself and my butt is getting bigger each day cos *someone* needs to ensure that stuff doesn’t go off!

 

Second time mothering

Becoming a mom for the second time has certainly had its moments, both good and bad but I think for me the biggest challenge in moving from mothering one child to mothering two children has been finding the balance in it all. Actually with each passing day I feel that we as a family are finding better ways to balance it all and we certainly have a lot to learn about keeping all the balls up in the air but that has been the part that I’ve battled with.

The balance between Kade and Gemma.  The balance between the kids and Cliff.  The balance between my direct little family and our extended families.  It’s not easy to try make everyone happy.  Mix sleep deprivation, two bouts of mastitis, a demanding toddler and a husband whose in the process of changing jobs one gets a grumpy woman and some not so nice days, thankfully though the grumpy, not so nice days have so far been outnumbered by the good ‘we’re a family of four’ days.

Honestly in terms of caring for the baby, it’s so much easier second time around.  You know that the baby won’t die if she cries for five minutes.  You know that the sleep deprivation will come to an end.  Breast feeding is easier cos you have experience from the first time around.  You’re calmer as a mom , not so ‘freaky outy’ as you are first time around.  As much as each baby is different, you’ve “been there, done that” and the simple fact that you’ve managed to keep one baby alive makes keeping a second one alive all that much easier.

The difficulty lies in making time for everyone and everything.  But as is so often the case in motherhood (and fatherhood) it’s about tackling the challenges each day at a time.  And having a partner who is not afraid to muck in and help you.

I would never have coped without Cliff taking up most of the toddler slack.

I think as we approach the 14 week mark of Gemma being on our lives we’ve found a good balance  in splitting the parenting tasks.  We both handle both children at times but for the most part I handle Gemma (she needs me more while I am still breast feeding) and Cliff handles Kade.  Once I go back to work we’ll need to redefine our roles and the tasks we handle but I am confident we’ll figure it all out again.

At the end of the day we both know how incredibly blessed we are to have been given the gift of a second child and we will do our utmost to parent her and our son to the best of our abilities, taking each day as it comes, relishing the joyful moments and trying our best to not mess them up too much along the way.

Monster Bash!

We hosted Kade’s little Monster 2nd birthday party bash over the weekend at Elf’s Hill in Chartwell.

It was so much fun and I can honestly recommend the venue – what an amazing place that caters for kids of all ages.  Kade was super cute cos he understood this year that all the fuss was about him and we’d been practicing the blowing out of the candles and singing Happy Birthday all week since his “actual” birthday on Monday last week.

It was cold out there tho (the down side of having had a winter baby!) but everyone had a good time and loads of smiling kids made it worth while.

Thanks to everyone who made his party day so special!

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