Saying yes in a world full of No’s

I think I have said no more in the last five and a half years than I ever have in my life.  Why in the last five and a half years?  Because that is when I became a mom.  As a mother, I have become so good at saying no… pretty much ALL.THE.TIME.

Mom can I have chocolate for breakfast? NO.  Mom can I swim in the rain? NO.  Mom can I climb to the top of the cupboard and jump from it to your bed? NO.  Mom can I ride the dog like a horse? NO.  See Gemma with a pot of sudocrem in her hands (again) cue YELLED NOOOOOOOO!  Khoki’s being welded by same child hovering over her tummy (again) cue more YELLED NOOOOOOO’s!  No no no no no no no no no!

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Good lord, I exhaust myself with the amount of times I say no.  However the time I’ve had at home recently has made me slightly less anal.  I am finding that the less stressed I am, the more I am allowing myself to actually say yes to the things my kids are asking of me.

I’ve allowed them to face paint me in the afternoons, I’ve allowed them to play in the rain, I’ve allowed them to jump on my bed like it’s a trampoline, I’ve allowed them to help me prep our evening meals with (gasp) knives… All things that I probably would have said no to previously, either because I was too stressed to take the time to just be with them or because it was easier for to me to just say no.

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Now whilst I don’t say yes to EVERYTHING ( I am still not allowing chocolate for breakfast) I have found that saying yes to more has made for happier kids.  And happier kids makes me a happier mom.

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7 thoughts on “Saying yes in a world full of No’s

  1. Oh true Sam – sometimes we need to have more fun with them. As to the boardgames – try Candyland – possibly the simplest of boardgames. I am sure Gemma will also be able to play it

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  2. Isn’t it amazing the difference it makes… I say yes a lot within reason of course and it is exactly because of what you said. I believe the yes and no should be balanced. My child knows if I say no I mean it (though she is getting very cheeky these days).

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  3. Please start saying yes to chocolate for breakfast? Only if it’s to making me feel less guilty about my franglised kids. Apparently an actual piece of chocolate rolled into a roll of brioche is a perfectly acceptable form of breakfast here.
    It’s true tho- when Mommy is more available, it’s easier to say yes.
    I’ve been so emotionally unavailable recently that I had a fight with Beth when she shouted at me that I only ever say ‘no’. Apparently it’s a Child’s Right to climb onto the bathroom basin to retrieve the ‘kids makeup’ bag and plaster real make up on themselves when Mommy isn’t looking.
    And when she helped herself to the glitter stash for her art…one day she’ll realise what an ass it is to vacuum glitter out of the carpet.
    I wish I could remove my control issues, but they’re in place to make my life easier.
    Sigh. I really do need to give in a bit more.
    Thanks for the reality check. Xxx

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  4. Ah that’s so lovely – I do the same AT TIMES 🙂 The painting on my face became an obsession and was done all day every day. They even draw on their legs, arms, feet…they became totally consumed by it. But you know what, when I let them do it, they totally loved it and it really was no sweat off my back. I allow biscuits and cake in the morning especially on weekends. I’m not too phased about that. But NOT after dinner – no no no. We must really just learn to step back at times and thoroughly enjoy our kids!

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