Today was one of THOSE morning’s.
You know the one… the one where you are tired and can’t drag yourself out of bed but know you need to get cracking otherwise you’re going to be later than you normally are. The one where all you want to do is drink your coffee to wake up but your kids are going “mommy, mommy, mommy, mom, mommy, MOMMY, MOM, MOM, MOOOOOOOOOOOOM” and you shout “just let me drink my bloody coffeeeeee” which spirals into them crying cos you shouted at them and makes their ears turn off so you end up repeating yourself 500 million times and end up shouting some more to get anything done and the family out the door and into the car?
Yes, I see you nodding your head – you have also had these mornings.
By the time I got to the school parking lot I won’t lie I was over it. I got the kids out the car and told them to grab their bags. Kade grabbed his and then grabbed Gemma’s too but his hands were full and I could see he wasn’t going to manage to carry it all. I said “leave it boy I will carry it” and he didn’t listen. For the millionth time. So I
raised my voice shouted “just listen to me, I said leave it!”
Across the car park, there was another mom getting her kids out of the car and she judged me SO HARD. I got given a death look of note and I think she even shook her head slightly at me.
You know what?
I know how it must have looked – this bitch mother shouting at her kid for trying to help out. But what she judged in that moment was a culmination of a bad, bad morning. I’ve been her some mornings, watching another mom lose her grip on her temper but you know what? I smile at that mom and say ‘I TOTALLY know how you feel, good luck for the rest of the day’ or will show her some solidarity with a side wink or a shrug or something.
Why do we JUDGE each other? I bet you that mom today has shouted at her kids so hard that her throat has hurt. I bet you she has told her kids to get out of her space so she can shower in peace. Yet in that moment where I couldn’t hold onto my temper in public at my kids school she judged me. In her eyes I was clearly found wanting.
Just because we are HUMAN and are not PERFECT every second of every day, just because we SHOUT at our kids doesn’t mean we love or appreciate them any less. It makes us normal. Mom’s who are just doing the damn best we can. Let’s support rather than judge.
Because I won’t lie, it sucked to be at the end of that woman’s judgement. I felt like she thinks I am a bad mom. I know I am not a bad mom, I am a good – no, I am a GREAT mom who just has bad moments.
Tonight I will hug my kid and I will know that while I’ve angst’ed about this the whole day, the matter in his head was forgotten by the time he realised I had forgotten to pack his hat for school.