Lets talk about Mommy Judgement…

Today was one of THOSE morning’s.

You know the one… the one where you are tired and can’t drag yourself out of bed but know you need to get cracking otherwise you’re going to be later than you normally are.  The one where all you want to do is drink your coffee to wake up but your kids are going “mommy, mommy, mommy, mom, mommy, MOMMY, MOM, MOM, MOOOOOOOOOOOOM” and you shout “just let me drink my bloody coffeeeeee” which spirals into them crying cos you shouted at them and makes their ears turn off so you end up repeating yourself 500 million times and end up shouting some more to get anything done and the family out the door and into the car?

comeon

Yes, I see you nodding your head – you have also had these mornings.

By the time I got to the school parking lot I won’t lie I was over it.  I got the kids out the car and told them to grab their bags.  Kade grabbed his and then grabbed Gemma’s too but his hands were full and I could see he wasn’t going to manage to carry it all.  I said “leave it boy I will carry it” and he didn’t listen.  For the millionth time.  So I raised my voice  shouted “just listen to me, I said leave it!”

Across the car park, there was another mom getting her kids out of the car and she judged me SO HARD.  I got given a death look of note and I think she even shook her head slightly at me.

stinkeye

You know what?

I know how it must have looked – this bitch mother shouting at her kid for trying to help out.  But what she judged in that moment was a culmination of a bad, bad morning.  I’ve been her some mornings, watching another mom lose her grip on her temper but you know what?  I smile at that mom and say ‘I TOTALLY know how you feel, good luck for the rest of the day’ or will show her some solidarity with a side wink or a shrug or something.

Why do we JUDGE each other?  I bet you that mom today has shouted at her kids so hard that her throat has hurt.  I bet you she has told her kids to get out of her space so she can shower in peace.  Yet in that moment where I couldn’t hold onto my temper in public at my kids school she judged me.  In her eyes I was clearly found wanting.

Just because we are HUMAN and are not PERFECT every second of every day, just because we SHOUT at our kids doesn’t mean we love or appreciate them any less.  It makes us normal.  Mom’s who are just doing the damn best we can.  Let’s support rather than judge.

Because I won’t lie, it sucked to be at the end of that woman’s judgement.  I felt like she thinks I am a bad mom.  I know I am not a bad mom, I am a good – no,  I am a GREAT mom who just has bad moments.

high-five

Tonight I will hug my kid and I will know that while I’ve angst’ed about this the whole day, the matter in his head was forgotten by the time he realised I had forgotten to pack his hat for school.

 

 

 

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8 thoughts on “Lets talk about Mommy Judgement…

  1. I know those mornings though thankfully I don’t need coffee to wake up 🙂

    You know what my friend she probably wasn’t judging you. She was probably thinking – great I am not alone!!!

    You are a great mom and that is what matters

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  2. Don’t worry, her life is not so perfect, think of it as an instagram moment, in that moment she looked perfect while you were just trying to get through the moment, her turn will come too, hopefully she wont feel the brunt harshness of being judged so openly. Big hugs and yes, you are a great mom xx

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  3. Quite frankly, I think we need to shout at our kids a little more. All this softly softly approach just doesn’t do it for me, and I DON’T think we are doing our kids any favours. Just saying….

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I also hate it when I lose myself because I reach the end of my tether (definitely this afternoon) and nothing makes me feel more awful and disorganised than being late. But I hate being judged too…

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