Sometimes I still feel like the Fat Chick…

Last year I went on a journey with my body.

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I started and completed the Dr Cohen first personal diet.  It worked incredibly well for me.  I lost 20kg’s and lost a total of 156 cm’s, I dropped 3 dress sizes (sometimes depending on the cut 4) and yet sometimes I still feel like the “Fat Chick.”

It’s really odd how one needs to focus on re-training your thought patterns around ones body image as well as training your physical body in losing the weight.  For too many years I thought of myself as “fat”, “ugly”, “shapeless” – so very negative about myself and my body.  Enduring seven years of infertility did absolutely NOTHING for my insecurities and deepened my hatred for my body.

I know I’m very different now. I look different but I also feel different.

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I feel so much better and most of the time I am the confident, sexy feeling person I’ve become through this process.  But little things can take me right back into the “fat”, “ugly” thought mode.  My sister bought me a skirt recently – when she gave it to me I took it out the bag and loved it but I immediately said to her “I’ll NEVER fit into this, it’s tiny”… she just looked at me and said “put it on”.   In that moment I was still the “fat chick” who was going to feel shit about herself cos the skirt wouldn’t fit.  Well not only does it fit, but it actually looks really good on.

I’m trying hard to make sure that I don’t allow myself to think of myself in a negative way anymore.  I’ve realised that half of the battle of the bulge is mental.  I had to have my head in the game last year when I made a serious choice to live a healthier lifestyle… I made a choice that is going to stay with me for a lifetime and will not be some fad diet that does not sustain a healthy me long term.  Now I have to ensure that my head STAYS in the game.

Because even though I might feel like it sometimes, in reality I am no longer the “fat chick” that I used to be.

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7 thoughts on “Sometimes I still feel like the Fat Chick…

  1. I can so relate to what you are saying. Not about my weight though, but on changing my mindset, and changing the way I see myself. For me its difficult to see myself in line with God’s promises – I’ve definitely had a “poverty mindset” for instance and its still difficult to see us financially blessed, but I’m slowly but surely getting there. I struggled with the same thing to see myself as healed and fertile, and I eventually got there, so I know I’ll beat this too.

    Just keep on reminding yourself that you are thin and sexy now!

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  2. I think I have the opposite problem. I still think I fit into size 8 and 10 clothes (pre-Zoe) and when I go shopping I am devastated when a size 12 doesn’t fit 😦

    Really, well done on losing 20 kilograms. That’s such an achievement! I really hope to lose my excess weight this year too.

    Like

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