Time Sans Kade…

Things in our household have been a bit chaotic the last two weeks.  It all started two weeks ago Saturday, when Kade started with a slightly runny nose which I put down to teething as he was in the process of starting to cut 4 pre molars at the same time.

I treated the runny nose accordingly.  It turned into a post nasal drip.  I treated the post nasal accordingly.  It didn’t clear up until finally last week Friday I decided that I wanted to take him to the doctor just as a precaution to make sure the post nasal had not caused a secondary infection as he’d started coughing at night to clear his throat to breathe properly.

He had ended up with a slight double ear infection.  To make matters worse I had a very badly infected left ear myself (that imbalance I had been experiencing in the week all of a sudden made sense!!) and was feeling pretty crappy myself.

My sister heard I was not well and immediately offered to take Kade for Saturday and Sunday night so that Cliff and I could get some rest and so that I could have some “down time” to recover as well.

Initially I was all like “no don’t worry, we’ll be fine” but I was feeling REALLY crap and knew I needed a break.  So on Saturday I packed Kade’s stuff and my sister (God bless her) came to fetch Kade that afternoon.  I had made plans to go to movies with a girlfriend a while back and headed off to movies.  Had an awesome time and came home to a quiet house.  The only noise was the TV softly emitting Tour de France commentary and Cliff had his butt firmly glued to the couch.  The dogs were snoring on the floor couch and I felt pretty weirded out actually.

I’m used to toys making noise and Kade running up and down the passage and screeching his delight.  The quiet unnerved me.  And I could see that Cliff was feeling it too.  That night when bed time came I sank blissfully into my pillow but still woke at midnight and at 04h00 to listen for my bug’s coughing that had woken me for nights on end.  Again the quiet unnerved me but I sank deeply back into sleep after being awake for a short while each time…

Sunday I served a double shift at Kids Church and by the time I got home I was FINISHED.  Strangely enough the quiet whilst not normal by any means didn’t unnerve me the way it did the day before.  I took my meds and headed to bed for a glorious two and a half hour sleep – my first in over a year.  It was BLISS. I woke up feeling much better and well rested.

Cliff and I ate a leisurely meal together and watched the movie with NO interruptions and headed to bed to have a nice deep sleep.  I only woke up once expecting to hear Kade.

This is only the second time Kade has been away from us in his short life.  The first time he was 5 months old and stayed at my Mom for a night so Cliff and I could attend a wedding and now these two nights with my sister.

To be honest, I don’t know what I was thinking by not allowing him to sleep out more before this.  We are lucky enough to have a wealth of family to draw on when we need that time.  Family that we both trust implicitly to take excellent care of our son.  I know sleeping out when they are little babies is not ideal cos they need you so much but honestly, the time sans Kade this weekend had made me realise that I am also important and that some down time is not just a luxury, it is a NECESSITY.  I need to have some time to just chill and veg if that is what I want to do.  Cliff needs time to just chill and veg if that’s what he wants to do…

I have decided that I am taking Cliff away for a much-needed romantic weekend at the end of July.  We are going to sit by the fireplace and chat and just be Cliff and Sam again instead of focussing all our energy on being Kade’s mommy and daddy.

We are also going to be having time sans Kade more regularly from now on.  Cos it’s good for ALL of us in the end, it makes Cliff and I better parents to our son and makes Kade expand his love tank by spending time with his family who dote on him.

All in all a win, win!

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7 thoughts on “Time Sans Kade…

  1. We have three sets of willing babysitters on standby and it really is awesome. They all love J so he is spoilt when he has a ‘sleep over’ and we get a little bit of time out. The quiet in the house is odd though. It just doesnt feel the same.

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  2. The first time is always the hardest but then it gets easier 🙂 The alone time you get with your partner is invaluable!!!

    USE the people you have!!!!

    LOL there have been times where D and I have just watched tv the entire time the kids have been away!!

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  3. You are very fortunate to have someone as fantastic as your sister to take Kade for a while. And to have your Mom that follows your rules. I wish I had that on hand. The longer the kids stay with you and don’t do sleep outs. The more possessive you become and the less willing you are to let them go out. I’m in that boat at the moment.

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  4. Time off is invaluable! I definitely think it’s a need more than a want in any relationship. I hope you guys have an awesome weekend away at the end of the month 🙂

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  5. Your sister is AWESOME. PLEASE continue to use your resources. haha.
    I am in negotiations with our babysitter (MIL) to take them at least one weekend every 6 or so weeks. I do have to play my cards carefully though because she allows them to sleepover when Lance and I go out at night (seldom – we are old like that and do day-time dates) and during the school holidays. Like Fiona, it is definitely a need as opposed to a want in my relationship. It’s so easy to slip into the role of parents and to forget that you and Cliff were there before you and Cliff and Kade.
    But seriously, it gets easier after the first time. And absence does make the heart grow fonder and all.

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