I learnt very important lessons this weekend in expectation vs reality. Two very different but very defining events happened in my life that taught me that in life expectation is not quite what you get in reality.
The first event happened on Saturday afternoon. We were at a family gathering at my Mother’s house – visiting with my aunt and uncle who live in Durbs and having a grand old time with my cousins – tanning some meat and enjoying some good company. I was sitting on the floor of my mom’s lounge chatting to my aunts and my mom and playing with Kade when he stood up, used me to steady himself and just looked at me with this determined look on his face. I scooted back two or three paces, opened my arms to him and said “come…” And right then and there with all the hubhub of people laughing and chatting around us, my boy took his first two tentative unaided steps into my welcoming arms.
I expected that the moment he took his first steps would be awesome. But reality was so much better than I could ever have thought it was going to be. The look of pure joy and exultation on his little face as he showed me he trusted me enough to walk to me took my breath away. The hearty giggle as he wrapped his arms around me neck wound it’s way into my heart and will be forever branded in my memory.
Lesson 1 : Reality can outweigh expectation in ways you could never imagine, if you just immerse yourself in the moment.
The second event was Mother’s Day.
For years I’ve dreamed about what it would be like to finally get to celebrate this special day with a child of my own instead of only as a child celebrating my mother. Too many years I’ve cried as my heart broke cos my arms were empty. I had built this day up to be something so special in my minds eye.
I don’t know what I really expected and imagined but know I had images of the day being filled with appreciatin for me as a Mother and maybe some flowers and a nicely cooked meal and some time out to have an afternoon snooze or something… instead Mothers day was a very normal and run of the mill day for me filled with food shopping, washing bottles and making my family lunch. I am hurt and disappointed but am working hard on moving past the hurt of having the image of what I expected burst.
Lesson 2: Learn to not let your expectations get ahead of you – you will always end up hurt.
I’ve been thinking a lot about expectation vs reality and the lessons I’ve learned this weekend. I guess the trick is to always be grateful and happy with the blessings you have in life and to live for each moment you get. To find the joy and the celebration in even the mundane. To temper expectation to be more realistic so hurts don’t hamper the joy you should find in the normal.
Reality is all we have in the end. I want to ensure that I make the best of the reality I’ve got – cos when all is said and done, my reality is actually pretty darn awesome.