The internet and social media sites are afire with Mother’s day. It seems that everwhere you look you are being reminded to Thank Mom and tell her how special she is.
In years gone by, Mother’s day used to be a time of such bittersweetness for me. I would send out texts to my friends who were Mom’s wishing them joy on this special day. Then I would sent out texts to my friends who were like me – sad and feeling totally inadequate - telling them that one day we too would be able to celebrate Mother’s day as Mom’s ourselves.
In the early years I would go to Church and stand there choking back tears and swallowing HARD against the lump in my throat. In the latter years I full out avoided going to church. My heart just could not bear the hurt it caused. Because in the midst of my infertility as much as I tried to bolster the hearts of my fellow infertile friends, I got to the point where I didn’t believe my own rainbow fart messages to them.
And then. It was over. Last Mother’s day I celebrated in spectacular fashion – it was my baby shower and I was finally enjoying this day in a way I had never believed I would.
This year, I will be celebrating Mother’s day with a vibrant, funny, amazing little boy to snuggle with. I am sure that my hubby will find a way to make me feel really special on my first Mother’s day with my baby on the outside of my body.
Yes I’ll be celebrating this day – finally, fully embracing it.
Yet, I know that come Sunday I will stand in Church and fight HARD against a lump in my throat as I remember my special friends who are still fighting hard against their own lumps. I will shed a tear for those whose hearts are so wanting to embrace a day of celebration of Motherhood but whose hurts hold them back from it…
My prayers on Sunday will be with these special friends, believing that one day they too will be able to share fully in the joy this day brings.
To all Mom’s and Mom’s in waiting – I wish you a very Happy and Special Mother’s Day.