The Follow on to the Confessional post

One thinks that after you’ve seen a heartbeat that you’d be on cloud 9 right?  Floating along and blissfully telling the WORLD that you are pregnant.  Not this chicken.

This chicken was on a high for about 4 days.  Cos then of course I had a nice bright red bleed YET AGAIN.  I remember sitting on the loo clutching my tummy and just pleading with God to keep this baby safe.  Pathetic I know.

Thankfully work was really hectic and kept me super busy and my mind (mostly) off the drama that was unfolding in my nether regions from day to every other day…

Our 9 week scan day dawned and I was so nervous.  No real reason other than the bloody bleeding but geesh was I nervous.  Once dildo cam was in place we saw our little Clam again – and heard the heart beating again.  Beautiful music to my soul.

I discussed meds with Stephan, I was worried that the fragmin while not *causing* the bleeding was contributing to the ease of the bleeding.  And shoving 6 utrogestan up your vajayjay daily can’t be good for your cervix either.  We decided to stop all meds.   Which my vajayjay and my tummy thanked me for!

Clam "smiling" for the camera 🙂


Clam looking like a sheepie 🙂

I thought that seeing that heartbeat and hearing it at the first scan was THE best thing you could ever see and hear – until we had our 9 week scan that is.  Seeing our little gummy Clam twitching and moving on that screen was quite unreal… and at that point it was THE best thing I’ve ever seen or heard!

Since stopping the meds I’m pleased to say that I’ve not had any more big red scary bleeds.  I have had some brown discharge once or twice.  I have been super lucky.  I’ve had only the odd bout of slight nausea when I’ve had too long a stretch between meals and have had only the odd bout of heart burn after my favourite chilli foods.  I still wonder to myself if this is all a dream.  If it is, it’s one I do not want to wake up from.  Speaking of dreams – gosh they can be rather, shall we say, titiliating at times?

I’ve found that I was much more zen in the wait between the 9 and 12 week scans – something that I’m sure has EVERYTHING to do with the lack of bleeding.  But I was more comforted by seeing the growth of Clam between 7 and 9 weeks and seeing the movement of that little thing was very, very resasuring for me.

Yesterday we had our 12 week scan at 12 weeks 2 days.  Our Clam was just amazing.  This perfect human being in miniture – moving and stretching and even sucking his little thumb.  AMAZING.   All was excellent with the nuchal fold – measuring at 0.9mm and the nasal bone was distinct, so all looking great for low risk for downs.  When I see that little person on that screen I cannot believe the depth of God’s grace.  How it all comes together from some cells to this perfect working being with all it’s parts in place and functioning like a perfect orchestra.

This gift He’s given us?  It blows my mind.  I’m so thankful and grateful.  How could I not be when this is on my fridge?

Our gorgeous Clam 🙂

Skeletor aka Clam Young 😉


18 thoughts on “The Follow on to the Confessional post

  1. Hey Hon, how many weeks are you now? little clam is just gorgeous… amazing how ‘human’ they seem even at this early stage isn’t it???


  2. Oh more tears of joy are coming to my eyes!!! the bleeds are the worst scary things ever… you are doing great so far! On to your next post!


  3. I always laugh when “normal” people get their BFP and then think nothing of it until their 8 week appt. Then they don’t worry again until the next scan and so on and so on. I have no idea what that is like so I totally relate to your fear in those waiting times. So glad things are going well.


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