This says it all…

Congratulations, you should be 39 weeks, 2 days, pregnant!

First beta: December 02, 2009

Singleton Due Date: August 10, 2010

Twins By Ave Gestation: July 19, 2010

Triplets By Ave Gestation: June 22, 2010

Quads By Ave Gestation: June 15, 2010

I should either be insanely busy with Quads, delightfully nutty with Trips, wonderfully crazed with Twins or eagerly anticipating the birth of our Singleton.

Instead I am drinking wine and mourning officially what could have been.  I miss you maybe baby.  I know you were not meant to be and that your precense is serving a better use elswhere, but I miss what you could have, would have been.

July and August can kiss my ass – they’ve both  been incredibly trying emotional months.  Roll on September…

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30 thoughts on “This says it all…

  1. Its so sad but try not to dwell in the coulda been. I know how hard that is. perhaps as the due date passes you might start to feel a little better. Thinking of you xxx

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  2. Sam, Thinking along these lines can only ever bring you heartache and pain my friend.It’s very painful to have reminders of what could have been so I try to limit them. I know it’s been shit few months…a shit year in fact!Focus on the furture rather than the past my friend – whatever your past has been – you have a spotless furture – a clean slate of possibilty! Lots of love my special friend xxxx

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  3. Sam, i often wonder if these days will ever truly stop being remembered, i wish we had a delete button and we could just get rid of the horrible memories. wishing you much strength and a better september… it is spring with new beginnings and all that after all!

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  4. 😦 so sorry, gorgeous girl. I don’t know what else to say to you. Sending tremendous hugs.
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  5. I hear ya. It’s like you spend the first month just trying to get over not being pregnant or loosing the pregnancy and then months later it hits you again, right when you think you are moving forward, with the “if you WERE… this is where you would be.” I still take a moment to myself on August 12 every year to think of our first little angel and when this November rolls by, I will take another moment to myself and think of our latest angel. I like to think it builds character, but some days I just want to say “F-You… I have ENOUGH character thank you very much!”
    Hugs to you.

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  6. You know how much I wish your world was different right now, you have so much that’s making life difficult at this time and you truly don’t deserve any of it!

    I’m right with you buddy, F%&@ July and August, let’s get this show on the road and look ahead to brighter and better futures. Thinking of you as always.

    Love you stax! Xxx

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