Move over Bride of Frankenstein – there’s a new monster bitch in town and it’s the Money Monster! Yours truly in case you were wondering.
One of the things that scares me most about facing our 6th big ART treatment besides the possibility of facing yet another negative result is the financial outlay we are going to have to commit to yet again.
I’m sure you’ll all agree with me wholeheartedly on this one. Fertilty treatment is DAMN EXPENSIVE! I’ve always been of the opinion that it will all be worth it in the end, when we hold our child(ren) in our arms that no amount of money would matter. But the fact is that you are spending huge amounts of money on a slight chance that you might at long last pull the long straw. We have been so blessed in the last 6 years of our journey because we have been lucky enough to have financial help from family but if I’m really honest I can see how this pipe dream is seriously making a dent in our lives (and pockets).
Those of you who know me in real life will know that I used to have the philosphy of “it’s just money” however in the last two years through a series of events that have occured I’ve become “the money monster”. I watch literally every penny that I earn and budget it down to *the* last cent in order to ensure that we can afford IVF. If it’s luxury it’s quite simply out of the question. I gave up an extremely well paying job (but a highly unsatifactory one) to work where I am working now but that came with a pay cut. I’ve cut all luxuries in my life out so that I can still carry my load of the bills and put a small (very small) amount of money away to afford a chance at being a mother. No more pedicures (can do that at home myself), no more painting, no more unecessary food stuff, no more constant entertaining, not a lot of eating out allowed anymore, no more, no more, no more… We rely on tax refunds, bonuses etc to pay for our treatment and I watch every cent like a freaking hawk cos I.cannot.be.in.the.place.of.not.being.able.to.afford.another.treatment.
I hate being this person, this money monster who is so hectic about money. I saw what worrying about money does to a marriage first hand with my folks. I don’t want to be this person but I also can’t help myself. When I look back at the nearly R200 000.00 we’ve spent on treatment alone not counting the probable R50 000.00 to R60 000.00 on therapy, reflexology, acupuncture etc I want to vomit.
But I also know that if we do ever get this right that money will be worth nothing in my life.
Now here is where I need advise. The husband wants to spend a substantial amount of money on a trip for the two of us. He will be taking part in a mountain bike race and I will be waiting for him to come in and we’ll maybe have one or two nice dinners while we are there.
I just cannot get it out my head that this trip, while it will be really nice, is a luxury. We can go away to nice places locally that won’t cost us as much and will be just as nice, in fact nicer cos we’ll actually be spending proper quality time together.
I’ve suggested he go on his own. He wants us both to go.
I feel that flights for both of us are complete luxury and just can’t bring myself to spend a quarter of a treatment’s worth of money for 3 days.
So, if you have a moment please take part in my very first poll and also leave any wise words of wisdom for a “money monster” on how to find the balance in this all below in the comments.