Still Alive & Sun Beauty

/ Sam

I’m still alive. 

I’ve been cutting myself some slack and am allowing myself to feel what I’m feeling and so far I’ve not wanted to throw myself under a bus so I think it’s working 😉

Monday was hard for me.   I got two very unexpected pregnancy announcements that hurt my heart.  The first was from a friends Dad who caught me on FB and asked me if I had heard the great news.  My heart sank and I just knew that said friend was pregnant… with her third baby… her second baby is only 4 months old… The second one came from another friend who is pregnant with number 2.  Wonderful news except she delivered it with the missive that she wished it would have taken longer than the 2 months it did to happen and that morning sickness was a “bitch” to deal with all day every day long for 8 weeks.  *sigh*  I am happy for them, I really am, but I can’t help but wonder when (if ever) it will be my turn to have that happiness.  I ended up drinking a bottle of red wine on Monday night while watching Revolutionary Road (ps SO not the right movie to watch when you’re in an IF funk).

Other than that work has been hectic of late.  So it’s been a busy few days. 

So often on my way to or from work I see the most amazing skies.  The colours are so vibrant and it just looks so damn beautiful that I have to take a snap with my cell phone.  The pics I take never quite do the reality justice but I had to share two of my favourites from the last two weeks with you all.

16 thoughts on “Still Alive & Sun Beauty”

  1. I am very glad you have not thrown yourself under a bus….

    I agree with you..the sunrises lately have been absolutely beautiful…

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  2. Those photos are beautiful. I’m so sorry that you have to deal with those announcements right now. It must be so incredibly hard for you. I pray that someday soon your turn will come!

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  3. Hi

    Beautiful pics. I think its normal to feel even sadder when we hear pg announcements particularly from those who dont appreciate the gift they have. And of course we always wish that it were us too. So dont feel bad.

    Hang in there

    Sweepea

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  5. I just got one today too from a friend who told me about 3 weeks ago that she was going to try for the third. “I must be soooo fertile”… I felt like saying, so what, do you want a badge?

    On another subject. Good grief woman, what time are you driving to work in the mornings?

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  6. Pretty good pics for a cell phone Sam! I know how you must be feeling so I think it’s pretty darn great that you have managed to avoid the underside of a bus so far ;0)If you ever feel like you might then I’m a phone call or skype away to talk you away from the edge my friend. I so agree about Revolutionary Road….I almost slit my wrists watching that crap film! Oscar winner my ass! As for the pregnancy announcements – I don’t think they will ever get easier but you have friends that ‘get it’ and are here to love and support you until it’s your turn!((Hugs)) xxxx

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  8. Hey Budg
    I just want to add on to what Abs said, it doesn’t get easier, even after you get your longed for baby. Other people’s pregnancy annoucements still cut. As for your friend complaining about how quickly it happened and morning sickness, all I can say is what was she thinking? I don’t understand how she could be so insensitive!
    Hang in there!

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  11. 1. Unexpected pregnancy announcements suck.
    2. Unplanned unexpected pregnancy announcements suck worser (let’s just pretend this is an actual word).
    3. Unplanned unexpected pregnancy announcements while grieving is just too much.

    Sending hugs…and hoping you find some relief soon.

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  16. Lovely pics! I really love looking at the sky…it’s so dynamic.

    I am so sorry about those surprise announcements. They hurt and you are so vulnerable right now. I’m wrapping my arms around you…and still praying.

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