… while you waiting for your results of your next treatment…
During my last 2ww I remember feeling a few “symptoms” that I thought were strange but which ultimately led me to believe with my whole heart that I was pregnant. I was tired pretty much all the time even though I was getting enough sleep. My breasts were tender. I had on/off cramps for mostly the last week of the 2ww. I had some lower back pain. And I had a weird temperature thing going down. My neck and shoulders would get super hot and then the heat would taper off for a while, then super hot, then taper off. And my tummy area just above my bikini line had the same temperature thing (very clinical description don’t you think?) happening.
All of the above “symptoms” could be attributed to the progesterone I know, but at the time they were not cos of progesterone being shot into my butt daily, they *were* because something had tried to nestle into my endometrium, had started growing and then just stopped.
A lot of people are asking me how I’m feeling during this heck long wait after my GIFT. And I know they don’t mean emotionally. They want to know if I’m feeling any of the above symptoms that I felt last time round cos then it would give us a little clue as to whether I am indeed knocked up this time or not…
This is the thing.
I’m not really feeling too much right now. I am tired, but not overly so. I have the weird temperature thing happening as well. And the odd cramp and shooting pain here and there. That’s about it.
I am hoping that this has worked but in the back of my mind I’m not sure. Swing, swing, swing. Back and forth, I might be, I might not be. I always thought it would be better to know that your body can fall pregnant, and while knowing that something happened in my ute last year does give me a certain measure of hope and comfort, it also messes with your head BIG time.
Because you automatically start looking for the same things, you start second guessing everything you’re feeling and thinking. I kind of miss being that girl who was so dead sure of a pregnancy last year. I miss that I was reveling in the fact that my body was telling me in its own subtle way that I was close to creating a life. And that this time, I am not sure at all. This time I am close to driving myself to an insane asylum.
I guess there is only one way to get through the next 6 days – one little bite of the elephant at a time.