I’ve been busy the last 8 days.
Busy stimming for our GIFT. I know I should probably have said something but I honestly did not feel like I could handle putting it all out here again about my follies and my lining. It’s so…. overdone on my blog. I always stim well. I always have great follies. I always have great lining. I always have great embryo’s.
Up until now it’s the getting pregnant part that I’ve really sucked at. But I am hoping with all my scared, anxious, excited, muted happy heart that this time will be different. That my upcoming GIFT will be the turning point in our journey to have a family.
I’ve stimmed superbly this cycle – after only 8 days of stim I face trigger in the face tonight and tomorrow morning. (Lucrin trigger hence the two jabs) My GIFT will be on Saturday. A friend said it would be cool to know that my “babies” are on board for Valentines Day, and in a way it does make me feel pretty cool. That on the day of global love, I can lovingly pray for my turn to be now in His time. And I can pray for peace in my heart and for fear to be banished as well.
Cos I am really scared. Underneath the still water this swan is furiously paddling and she’s scared. I can’t even begin to imagine a negative outcome on this cycle cos the thought of that is just really too much to bare.
If you feel led to pray for us (despite my having held out on you guys who offer such amazing support all the time) I would appreciate any prayers at this time. Prayers for peace, confidence and for my eggs to fertilise well with Cliff’s sperm on Saturday once they are put back into my tube. For the left over eggs (if we have any) to fertilize well in the lab. For the fruit we’ve been believing for.
Prayer at the time in our lives and in our journey that we choose to believe will be our turning point. Roll on Saturday, that’s all I can say.