Say what?

I’m sure that anyone who is part of the blogging community can relate to what I’m about to talk about – weird search terms that have landed people on your blog.

I found that when I first started blogging many of my search terms were pretty standard ART searches, but as time has gone on and my posts  have become more expansive, I’ve been seeing some pretty weird search terms coming up more frequently.

Many times these search terms give me a great laugh but sometimes I have to take a step back and think “say what?”, sometimes I just really don’t understand how the search terms have landed people here.  So yes I talk about vagina’s, dildo cams, scans, runny tummies and the like but really?  That search term really got you *here*?

Stuff like “finger in the ass” which comes up way too often for my liking.  It’s right up there with “anal rings! bling for your pooper!”.  Say what?  Darling’s, but I have to say this 150% categorically, I am a firm believer in the fact that your a-hole, it’s an exit only!  So no, I don’t put my finger in my ass and am really not interested in anal rings or any kind of bling for my pooper thankyouverymuch.

I also get A LOT of searches for brazilian waxes and pictures of brazilian waxes and “are brazilian waxes sore” and so it goes on.  I know I’m a oversharer, but I will not be posting a pic of my brazilian wax anytime soon but suffice it to say that yes it can be a tad uncomfortable to have hot wax put on your girly bits and have the hair ripped out of it… Nuff said.

Someone wants to know if you can put “crinone anus”… I would not think so, I know that I’ve used cyclogest rectally but I for the life of me cannot,  no make that will not imagine the cottage cheese crinone stuff up my butt.  EEEEEUUUUWWWW!  Don’t do it – not ever!

Lastly for the searcher that is “scared to try another HPT in case of BFN”, this is EXACTLY why I am severely anti POAS… It causes mental illness in you.  Cos unless those two lines appear right off the bat, you are forced to squint at the test strip for a million minutes convincing yourself that there is indeed a line there – f.a.i.n.t but it’s there.  No it isn’t. Yes it is. Gah, chuck the damn thing in the rubbish.  Make tea, Run to the bin, scavenge the icky HPT out – check it again.  Get pliers to take it apart.  Hold still wet strip up against the light, now against the window.  This is not working.  Get a camera.  Take a negative image – upload onto the PC, shit!  No farking line.  Throw strip away.  Remake tea.  Run back to bin, fish out extra icky strip. Cry.  *sigh*  It’s not good for the soul my dear.  Rather stay in your dream world.  Cos as long as you don’t poas you still have hope.  May not work for everyone but it works for me.  I wish you all the best.

What are the craziest or “say what” terms that you’ve had on your blog?


10 thoughts on “Say what?

  1. Must say our search terms are incredibly boring. Most ppl come across our blog by actually searching for us. And after today’s post containing all those search terms – I can just imagine the ones that will find you now 😉


  2. LOL. The only one I’ve had which seemed a bit strange was “cheese trying to conceive”…apparently there’s a frustrated wheel of Stilton out there somewhere trying for a Babybel…
    I clearly need to read back further into your previous posts to find out what weird and wonderful stuff you’ve been talking about!!!!


  3. People who find their way to my blog I guess are not that daring. I don’t have any crazy terms yet, mine are mostly IF related. I will go check now though and see if any daring people arrived, LOL!! I am with u on POAS i have not done it ever while doing IVF ever and won’t! Don’t want to add any additional meds, we are taking enough already right?


  4. As you can imagine, I get a lot of weird searches about snot. Like “vagina snot” and “sex snot” and just all around gross things that have to do with snot. Ew.


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