So I’m sitting with a pretty little conumdrum in my head right now. Before I got the amazing new job (which is still amazing btw – wheeeeeee) we were planning on doing a September IVF. We thought that the whole spring, start of new life season would help us get a new life going on inside my tummy. But at the same time before I got the amazing new job, I was honestly pooping myself to do another treatment while working in hell. I knew that the environment I was in and the hours I was working would not be condusive to a relatively stress free treatment – I mean lets face it IVF is stressful enough right?
So now I’m at amazing new job and we’re thinking of starting again in November. And I feel…. guilty stressed confused about this decision. I REALLY want to move ahead with our plans, but at the same time I feel bad about starting treatment so soon after starting a new job. When we kick off the treatment I’d have been working here for just on 3 months. And if we should be successful (please God let our next one be successful) then by the time I told everyone (only at 12 weeks) I would have worked here for just on 6 months. If we were successful by the time a baby actually came I would have been working here for just on 1 year. I just don’t know how my new boss will react if I tell him I’m pregnant just on 6 months into my new job.
On one hand I look at it from a manager’s perspective, and I realised that I would not be too impresssed with a member of my team announcing a pregnancy so early in their work like to me, but in the real world people fall pregnant all the time and I would suck it up and deal with it. On the other hand I think with my heart and my desires and I’m like “lets just do it and if we get a pregnancy out of it I’ll handle the consequences”.
I guess I’m just tired of putting it off for a better time. Cos honestly? When is going to be a better time? When I’ve worked here for 2 years? 3 years? Never? And if I’m really open about it, a large part of the reason why I found the new amazing job was so that I would have more of an opportunity of treatment working…
Gah, I’m so torn today about this decision, but on other days I’m steadfast with what we’ve decided to do.
If in my shoes, what would YOU do??