I saw a body alignment therapist over the weekend. Part of me is glad that I went to see her but a part of me is confused and conflicted… Let me explain.
At the beginning of the session the therapist explained that I was in a safe place and that no bad entities could enter and that I was protected by the Arc Angel Michael. I did not feel threatened by the therapist in any way but I can tell you that I was damn nervous for the treatment. She used a combination of crystal therapy as well as chakra balancing, reiki energy healing , pendulum healing and what she calls “intuitive channeling”. She told me that she uses Angels who are guides to help align the body and mind.
What I did feel almost immediately once the treatment started was an intense energy radiating through my body and my eye lids were “shivering” (sorry this was the best way I could come up with to explain it) uncontrollably. She told me that I “talk a lot but don’t say anything”. She also explained that I had got myself into such a habit of not allowing myself to feel that I have shut my emotions down completely. She told me that I need to learn to love myself before I can love a child that I bring into the world. She also told me that I should find myself a homeopath using my gut instinct cos she was told that homeopathy would help me.
She told me that I am not very honest with myself. That I use my infertility as a way to gain attention. That I have immense feelings of lack of self worth. That I needed to take responsibility for my part in my infertility. She explained that it was ok for me to not agree with or to dislike things my Mother says and does. It was immensely clear that I loved my Mother but that I was not being honest with myself about the fact that she does and did things that I disliked. But most of all that I must learn to accept and feel the love around me. That I needed to realize that I was a beautiful being and that I was WORTHY of love and all it’s blessings. I cried. It was hard to hear these things being said to me, but most of it was pretty on the money.
The problem is that it was not all about me learning to love myself and accepting that I’m a pretty cool chick, there was a scary side to the session as well. She told me that when I was 17 or 18 someone put an accidental curse on me which is the root cause of my infertility. Naturally I’m a little freaked out by this. I cannot think of who would have accidently put a curse on me at this time of my life. I was either in my last year of school or living in the middle of a game reserve hanging out with a bunch of game rangers. And for the life of me, I cannot think of anyone in either of those two groups of people who could have done this to me. She told me that there is nothing wrong with my body, and that my challenges are in my mind. Oh and don’t for get that accidental curse.
There were some things about my job situation, about letting go of negativity and some others that I’m not remembering as I type this out…
I guess most of my conflict comes to the fore because I’m a Christian. I’ve accepted Christ into my life and due to this I know that seeking this kind of treatment is considered taboo. I know that there is a spirit world out there that might be deceiving me, but I also know that I am a child of Christ and through Him I am protected, I am righteous and I am covered in His blood that will ensure I am safe. There were many things that she said that were right on the money. I do have feelings of lack of self worth. I am not completely honest with myself and others about many things – I say I’m fine when I’m not, I say I am strong and coping when in actuality I’m falling to pieces, I say my family is “normal” when I really come from a pretty dysfunctional place in terms of family – the list goes on and on. I do not allow myself to feel.
And yet, I’m not sure that I would seek the assistance of this lady again. I do think that many of the things she revealed I needed to know. I need to learn to love myself, I need to learn that I AM worthy of love, I need to start getting real with myself.
And most of all I need to pray over my womb to break any curse that may or may not have been accidently placed on me. (And if any of you are the praying type and feel it in you to help me on this one, I would mightily appreciate it.)
In the last few days I have debated this issue with a few of my friends, and I do believe that God gives people the gift of prophecy or healing, and as long as they do it to His glory. I believe that we all have access to the gifts of the Holy Spirit and that many people use these gifts for the greater good. I truly believe that if I am seeking treatment that comes from the most high, it can’t be all wrong. I know that these therapists have the opportunity to take these gifts to a darker place, a place that is not about glorifying His name, and I guess it’s that “other side” that has me erring on the side of caution right about now. It’s too easy to get involved or drawn into it without you even knowing before it’s too late… (Remember that accidental curse??)
I’m damn confused and need to do some serious soul searching about this… I’m interested though, what are *your* thoughts on alternate treatments?