Is this really real?

I’m in a complete state of denial.  This whole IVF cycle just really does not seem real.  AT ALL.  Even with the mild OHSS stopping me in my tracks, it’s almost like I’ve stepped into a time warp and have somehow found myself in the middle of a 2ww. 

My whole approach to the treatment this time was to focus on each day as it came and to try not focus too much on the end result.  So I popped clomid daily and just went about my business.  I got up before sparrows fart for scans and injected myself happily taking each day as it came until I was being wheeled into a theatre and put nicely to sleep with the aid of dormican and pethadine and came out with a cool sticker on my hand.  The OHSS struck at the right time I think cos it kept my mind off the fact that I had growing embies in a dish at the lab that needed to be obsessed about.  And we all know the great time I had at transfer right?

So now I am sitting in my office hurridly typing this post before my guests break for tea and I’m feeling… weird.  Disconnected.  Like this is all a dream and that soon I’ll wake up and try to roll over and fall back asleep again.  I must admit that the twinge analysis genes are kicking in but not quite to the extent that I had expected them to at this stage of the game.

Here I sit at 4DP5DT and it really does not feel real.  But that being said it is EARLY days.  Yes, very early days in this this we like to call the 2ww…

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5 thoughts on “Is this really real?

  1. Hey Budg
    From past experience I found that the 2ww after IVF gets progressivley worse the closer you get to test day.
    Good luck staying sane, its the worst feeling in the world, all those emotions swinging all over the place!!!
    (((hugs)))

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  2. Hi Sam,

    Yes, I remember that my last IVF I also felt a bit unattached. I think it is a bit of a coping mechanism, but agree with Shaz, that the closer test day comes, the worse it got.

    Good luck!

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  3. Go with it. You sound very relaxed. Maybe feeling kind surreral is helping.

    By the way.. the things that stuck out in that post to me… You break for tea??? That is so freaking cool! Is that in addition to lunch or is that what you call lunch. I want a tea break. In fact.. I think I might put on the kettle to boil right now!— sorry.. so off topic… HA HA

    Like

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