Kick in the Nads

Ooi, just when I think that we’ve got everything nicely compartmentalised and that we’re doing fine with our infertility, it kicks us in the nads…

We had a nice braai over the weekend at a friends place – the kicker is this of the three couples there we were the only childless ones.  We had a lovely time and the company was good and after a cool dip in the swimming pool, the hostess asked me if I would get her twin girls out of their cozzies and put a nappy and t-shirt on each of them.  I was only too happy to comply, I love these two (IVF) girls!  I made a game out of it and got first the one and then the other out of thier cozzie and into thier nappy and t-shirt with my darling hubby sitting beside me on the step.  

On our way home, Cliff surprised me by saying “you know it was really depressing being around all those kids today”.  *GOBSMACKED* He *hardly ever* admits that it gets to him… then he got all teary and said “watching you with those girls, you will make such a good mother”…

Thanks infertility for that good old kick in the nads!  How can I not feel sad and guilty for what you’ve done to us over the last 4 and a half years…. Sometimes I wish you were a “real” entity that I could kick and scream and scratch your eyes out for all the hurt and pain you’ve caused us.  And at times I’m ever so grateful to you for what you’ve allowed us to learn.

Infertility – the ultimate oxymoron!


14 thoughts on “Kick in the Nads

  1. Oh Sam, I’m sorry Budg!
    I know exactly what you’re talking about. I try to ignore those moments, its too painful to dwell on.


  2. Men often come out with the strangest stuff at the weirdest times. My Dh got all strange when I told him to hold my friends baby, I could see his tears. I was so ashamed that I didnt think of his feelings and the worst part is that when he is down it makes everything seem a million times worse.


  3. Oh sorry hon. Sometimes it is much easier to pretend it doesn’t affect our big strong men like it does us. Then you catch them crying at commercial on TV and… WOW.. It does kick you in the gut. It’ll happen.. It will.. (((HUGS)))….

    On a lighter note… I was unable to translate half that post..

    Braii, Cozzies, Nappy????? HA HA… I have no idea. HA… Sorry.. Actually I do know that Braii is a bar-b-que but, the other two… I’m lost. 🙂


  4. man i had forgotten about *those* conversations. fvck, they suck, eh? k would always say that it was a kick in the…. too. it wasbittersweet when k did something to show it bothered him. it was good to know that i wasn’t alone but soooooo hard to watch the person i loved most show pain. ahhhhhhh infertility it sucks.
    sorry buddy.


  5. I am sorry, sweetie. Those days suck and they are unfairly inevitable. You are blessed with a good man who still wants what you want and I know you guys will have it someday.


  6. Oh sweetheart, I wanted to cry reading that. Those were always the worst days, when Sarge cried too. I’m praying fervently that one day those tears are tears of joy for you and your sweet bullet of a hubby!


  7. Mate,

    I’m sorry.

    I know it’s no help when I’ve managed to claw my way over to the other side- but other peoples FREE babies and pregnancy announcements still sting.

    IF plain ole sux,



  8. I’m so sorry you had to feel like that, and I know exactly how you feel. My 3 cousins have been blessed with 2 boys and a girl, one girl and boy 3 months old and the last boy only 2 weeks, and when we spend New Years at their place, I realised how it actually gets to you.

    Thinking of you ((Hugs))


  9. Huge hugs, Sam. We go through these times too. It always surprises me a bit when I’m actually okay with a situation, but M has an aversion to it because he’s hurting. Hoping you both are celebrating and changing your own babies so very soon.


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