…. Sam needs to run away, not a gift is in sight, maybe today! Hey!
Seriously though, I am at my MOST disorganised I have ever been at this time of year. I *love* Christmas. I love that it gives me a chance to celebrate the birth of my Saviour, I love that it gives me time to spend time with my family and friends, I love it! BUT this year I have not been able to get my ass into gear – at all. Here we sit – two (2!!!) measly days before the big event and I have not bought one (1!!!!) Christmas present. *sigh*
And as much as I know I *have* to get it done today or it’s tickets for me, I am *so* not in the mood. At least I managed to get my a into g enough to put up the Christmas tree. That’s gotta count for something right?
I was in a bummed mood yesterday as well. Not something I allow myself to wallow in for long and today I’m feeling much better, but I have to share the wallow. Every year a RL friend of mine has a Christmas braai. Last year at the braai we met her friends Claire and Paul who had been battling to fall pregnant. They had 2 rounds of clomid and at the braai were happily pregnant. I remember sitting there thinking – next braai next year that will be *me*.
But at the braai this year, Claire and Paul were bouncing their 5 month old baby boy on their knee’s and there Cliff and I sat, still no closer to our dream of having a baby. It hit me like a stream train. Yet another year lost. Yet another year where my hopes and dreams were crushed. Yet another Christmas wishing for a child to share it with. Yet another party where we are the only childless couple.
But despite myself I still sat there thinking to myself – next year at the next braai – that will be me.