O.C.D Anyone?

Today I had planned to wake up possibly use my FMU to do a HPT *looks over shoulder guiltily* 

I have to state for the record that I usually hate HPT’s, I think that they have powers… they cause us to squint, to see things that no-one else could ever be asked to see and openly admit and drive us generally batty.  BUT I was going to give in to the call of the dreaded HPT this morning.  Cos today, today I am 7DP5DT – effectively 12DPO…  Naturally I did not just select this ausipicious date out of nowhere, I had done my research and there are a LOT of girls out there that have tested on this day and have seen two lines (not imagined) and in my clouded state after the negative fresh cycle, I had bought TWO HPT’s which are now snuggled in tight behind the bog roll in my bathroom cabinet…  One would think that one may as well use them…. right? 

I discussed my covert operation plans with a friendvia msn (who btw is a complete POAS addict herself!) and her sage advice of “it could be too early to get a postive”, “try and hold out a bit longer”, “pass the fail point of your fresh cycle before testing on this cycle” won over and I put the peeing plans on hold…  but because I put the pee on hold, I had to find something else to get me through this day which in my mind is the first pass fail point of this FET cycle…

Findings as follows:

FRESH CYCLE                                                   

∞ Total 29 days in length                                

∞ ET done on CD 20                                        

∞ Dream over CD 29 (9DP3DT or 12DPO)        

FROZEN CYCLE

∞ Total 31 days and counting =)

∞ ET done on CD 24

∞ Dream still continues CD 31 (7DP5DT or 12 DPO)

So *effectively* at the same point I am still in the running… At least that is the way it feels to me.  I think in my heart of hearts though I mentally need to get past 9DPT as that was the “day” it all fell apart on our fresh cycle.  I just really don’t know anymore… 7 more days to go until official beta day (why oh why do we need to test so darn late???)

The scientific findings prove without a doubt that I am completely nuts, just a tiny bit OCD, and probably going to break down and pee on something in the next week before my beta – provided that I don’t fail the pass fail point of last time of course…

They say that you should project into the universe what you want and it will come back to you… I personally believe that God already knows the desire of my heart and when His time is perfect I will get it, but it can’t hurt to put it out there right now – this is what I so desperately want to see soon:

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11 thoughts on “O.C.D Anyone?

  1. I almost had a heart attack when I saw the BFP picture. I really thought….
    Well done for not giving in, hang in there, there’s nothing wrong with you, the mental anguith of the 2ww after an ET is like nothing any woman can ever imagine until she’s been there herself. So don’t beat yourself up!!
    Waiting in anticipation for your prayer to be answered.
    xx

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  2. Hi Sam
    I generally have low beta values but got a positive HPT 9dp5dt with my last IVF so if I were you, try and wait till Sunday. Apparently there is a study which shows that 5 dt have slightly lower beta values possibly due to implanting later than 3dt. I’ve got all my fingers and toes crossed and keep checking your blog for updates.
    Lots of love
    Katherine(chrisenkate)

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  3. Ah, you good girl. I was attending regular POAS addict meetings for a long time, and still occasionally do one, just for fun. Can’t just drop old hobbies, can you?!

    Hoping and hoping and hoping for you 🙂

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  4. Nothing wrong with a little OCD! All normal. Praying and hoping for you hon! Good on you for holding out on the POAS thing, it takes guts to wait! Hang in there, just a few more days!

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