2 Sides to Every Story

Ok so I promise this will most likely be the last you hear of the friend saga… 😉

She called me last night so that we could talk this whole thing out.  She was pretty upset that I called her the night before and “basically shat me out”.  She has been feeling like I have not been putting enough effort into our friendship and that I have not been forthcoming with information about what is going on in my life with the IVF etc.  She told me that although it might look to me like her life is perfect cos she has kids but that she has other problems to deal with and that her life is far from perfect.  She also told me that she did not ask questions and enquire about the IVF cos she did not want me to feel pressured and had assumed that I had a great support system already and did not really need her to be harping on about it as well.  (As it is I did have a fantastic support – our families, you guys, some close friends, we were so very blessed)  She told me that although she never asked about our IVF, she was thinking of me througout and was praying for us throughout the process.  She told me that she also feels that because she does not know enough about the process that she asks silly or stupid questions.  She was very upset that I did not invite her to my 30th birthday party and felt like I was wanting us to drift apart in our friendship cos I did not call her or text her or invite her to my party… 

If I am brutally honest with myself I can admit that I have not put a lot of effort into the friendship in the last few months.  I *have* been pretty self absorbed (rightly so of course but I can understand where she came from after we chatted), and have been focused on my life and our IVF and our grief after the BFN…  I have not really been putting much effort cos I felt like I was not going to share details about our journey with her if she did not ask, it seemed to me that she was disinterested so I never shared with her.  I told her last night that I would much rather have stupid questions that show her interest in what is happening in my life than nothing.  I also told her that I guess I never invited her to my 30th cos I thought she would not be bothered to come cos our friendship was clearly drifting apart.

Seems to me that this whole debacle is a clear cut case of miscommunication.

Both of us agreed that we did not want to see our friendship in the gutter (I was her maid of honor for gosh sakes and am honorary auntie to her kids) and that we were both in the wrong for what had transpired between us in the last couple of months.  We agreed that we needed to nurture the friendship more and both make more of an effort if we wanted to continue being friends.

So for now our friendship is in the process of getting back on track.  We’ll see how it goes…