Well that was odd

So I did it.  I called her on my way home from work last night. 

Firstly I called her from my mobile and my number would have come up on her screen right, so when she answers she sounded totally surprised that it is me calling.  Odd.  Here is how the conversation played out Players: Me = M and she = F.  The thoughts that ran through my head are in italics :

M:        Hey, I was just calling to say Hi and to find out if all is well on your side of the country.

 

F:         Oh, hi, all is fine here, just been really busy, but all good.

 

*Pregnant Pause*

 

M:        Well I also called cos I thought it a bit odd that I have not heard from you at all since I sent you my last email.   ( I was a bit annoyed at this time and think it must have come through in my voice…)

 

F:         Yes I got the mail, I took you off the list.  In fact I have been so busy that I have not even had a chance to  send any pictures anyway…

 

*Pregnant Pause*

 

M:        Thanks for that, but it is a bit weird not to have heard a word from you in nearly three weeks….

 

F:         Well I have been really hectic, things have been happening here and it has been hectic, and I have had to get thing sorted out here.  (yet she’s had time to call a mutual friend to discuss my request with her, but not enough time to respond to me AT ALL???)

 

M:        Is everything ok?

 

F:         Yes, it will be….

 

*Pregnant Pause*

 

M:        Everyone healthy?  No-ones ill are they?

 

F:         No everyone is fine, it will be fine.

 

M:        Ok then. *Pause*  To be honest I was pretty hurt that I never heard from you at all after my mail was sent.

 

F:         You were what?

 

M:        Hurt.

 

F:         Sorry, but I have been so busy, I never meant anything by not responding, I have been so hectic.

 

M:        Ok, but to not have got any form of response – well it sucked.

 

*Pregnant Pause*

 

F:         Yes well we moved my PC out of the bedroom and the ADSL did not work through the walls to reach the new place we put it (she has been on MSN everyday since I sent the mail, and ADSL did not work?  Hmmm, I think not.)  and I have not been able to email you back. 

 

M:        Gosh, a text or a call would not have taken one minute of your time, I realise that you’ve been busy and going through your own stuff but I bared my heart to you in my email and I really thought I deserved some response of any kind – even if it was just to tell me to piss off or *something*…

 

*Pregnant Pause*

 

 

F:         Sorry, in hindsight maybe a text would have been better, I apologise.  I keep thinking every day that I should respond to you  and send you a long email back, but I have been so busy – school holidays you know…  (actually I don’t know, I don’t have my own kids yet remember?  How on earth would I know it’s school holidays???  Plus you have a full time domestic worker and have time to discuss this with a mutual friend {yes I know I have mentioned this twice, it irks me} but not time to respond to a so called best friend???) 

 

M:        Ok, well I hope that you get everything sorted out and if I can help in any way you just let me know ok?  Hopefully we’ll chat sometime soon.

 

*Pregnant Pause*

 

F:         Ok, bye….

 

M:        Bye.

So that was that, the whole conversation was very stilted and uncomfortable.  I really hope that whatever is going on in her life gets sorted out and that she is happy.  However, it is pretty clear to me that she is not prepared to rescue this friendship and that I need to move on. 

I have left the ball in her court and if she wants to she can contact me.  If I hear from her, good, if not , good.  I really cannot waste anymore energy on this situation.  Time for me to realise that some things just need to be left in the past.  The season of our friendship seems to have run its course and that is fine.  Life goes on.

I have been so blessed with good friends who are prepared to stick with me and to try and understand where I am coming from in this journey, they are the ones I will focus on now.  The “real” friends who are prepared to put in as much as I do – warts and all.

Thank you so much for all the support you girls have pushed in my corner regarding this situation, it really means the world to me… 

You girls ROCK!  You RULE! 

Viva you guys Viva 🙂

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10 thoughts on “Well that was odd

  1. Oh gosh, man, that went well…. I’m so sorry for your pain. A breakdown in a friendship always stings so badly, doesn’t it?

    Looks like this friend has some growing to do before she’s going to be able to handle your situation graciously and appropriately. At least you know that you were trying your best to salvage this and that you were brave enough to make that call.

    Now, take a deep breath…. and go spoil yourself. I’m serious, do it!! Personally, I would go for retail therapy 🙂 But of course, the choice is yours… Enjoy!!

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  2. Oh man Sam that really sucks!! I’m so sorry you had to go through that…. Well I think it’s crystal clear now, friendship is over. At least now you know and you don’t have to wonder why she ignored you, and.

    I know you are hurting and you will feel out of sorts about this for some time to come, but at this moment in time you really need someone who understands you, and your love, caring and giving will always be returned to you in one way or another.

    You’re right, some friends are only here for a season, but you will have new friends. I have no doubt that you are a fabulous friend to anyone who crosses your path.

    She’s truly made a grave mistake to let a wonderful friend go for the sake of her ego.

    ((((HUGS))))

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  3. Good for you Sam! That could not have been an easy call to make, it took seriuos guts to do that. But at least now you know where you stand, can stop agonizing over why she never responded, can shut the cellar door and move on.
    One word my friend – season!
    Love u!
    xx

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  4. After having read your letter to her and now the conversation, I think you have done all you can.

    If she cannot try to sympathise with where you are then you will be better off moving on. It’s a shame, but tough times bring out the real friends.

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  5. Way to go!

    …err..uhmm…sorry I get a little excited when people have the balls to be as hounest as you were.

    Dumbass, you know in the deepest recesses of your Samhood if this friend is worth her salt or not, and if she is, she’ll realise that she’s not been treating you fairly, you put the ball in her court, let’s hope somewhere along the line she sobers up before it’s too late.

    Sorry if it hurts…hugs, M

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  6. Ugh – that sucks. I’m really sorry. It’s so hard when you find out who the friends are that can really stand by you and understand. Sometimes it means losing people along the way and that can be painful.

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  7. I’m so proud of you for calling and expressing your feelings. She may be dealing with a lot of stuff now, but so are you. A phone call or text would’ve been appropriate.

    I think you’re right, you made the first move, now the ball is in her court. If she contacts you again, that’s great. If not, it’s a shame that the friendship had to end in this way, but you’ll know that you did everything you could to keep it going.

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  8. Just catching up on all of this. And my first reaction is that I want to shake this friend of yours. It seems like she is just not getting where you are right now. It is so so effing hard when the tight bond of a friendship gets, well, less tight. You did a good job of being open and honest. I hope this marinates with her and she is able to finally respond properly.

    xo

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  9. I am glad you guys are working on this. I just recently lost a friend (internet) who wasn’t the person I thought she was….and am in the process of losing another, linked to the same situation. It sucks.

    Like

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