Mother’s Day = Not too bad

I was fully expecting yesterday to be much like last year, where I was miserable and feeling full of failure and tears, but it was not too bad… actually it was quite nice. 

I woke up early for church like normal, got showered and ready like normal and got picked up by my Mom, sister and niece like normal.  But in the back of my mind I knew that church was going to be hard as they would be honoring all the Moms, so put a thick, protective, icy shell around my heart.  I wished my Mom and sister a Happy Mothers Day and winked at my neice who knew my sister and I were keeping my Mom’s gift till later cos I still needed to write a note in it (we gave her a new bible – she was using my Granny’s bible but it is so old and is literally falling apart and means so much to Mom that Moz and I could not bear to have something go missing from it, hence a new day to day bible for our beautiful Mom.  We also got her some prayer books and a devotional journal) – all normal with my icy heart safely protected.  We got to church, parked like normal and walked in.  All woman got given chocolate and a book mark and I overheard one woman say with a little hitch in her voice “But I am not a Mom” and the gentleman handing them out said “that may be, but you can and will be, and we love you”.  My heart thawed slightly, and a little more as I was handed my chocolate too. Praise and worship was AMAZING and my heart thawed so much that there was only a tiny bit of frosting left on it… then our woman’s ministery Paster prayed for the congregation and the Moms, and then also prayed for all of us whose hearts are filled with desire to be a Mother, she prayed for wombs to be opened and for the desires of our hearts to be fulfilled – cue tears as my Mom and sister gripped my hands so tight!  Sjoe – very emotional moment!  The sermon was about being placed for a purpose and was so apt.  We then had communion and my heart was so warm with the love of God.

After church we went to our house and had Cliff’s Mom and Dad over with my family for a Mother’s day breakfast.  The breaki was yummy and we enjoyed the winter sun on our patio…  Later on we went to my cousin to celebrate her son’s birthday, and ate lots of cake, meringues and more cake… (What diet?) 

Yep, not a bad day at all… I might not be a Mom to a living baby yet, but the promise of what is to come made the day wonderful after all.  Because I will be a Mom, I know it in my heart and soul.

To those of us whose hearts were sore and bruised yesterday, I send the biggest bestest hugs out to you via the cyber universe, and pray that you find this peace that has thawed and healed my heart. {{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

In other news, the clomid monster is yet to rear her head with only 3 more pills to pop – have I managed to vanquish her?  It seems to be so 🙂  Cliff is extatic about this state of affairs naturally… The anal paranoid nagger in me (hidden relatively far beneath the surface of calm) is whispering in my ear (which I have to add I am heroically ignoring – well mostly) that the reason the clomid monster has not appeared is because she is actually doing nada in those ovaries of mine… Erm, say what anal paranoid nagger beotch? 

Scan on Wednesday set to disavow the naysayer…then onto menopur we go!

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7 thoughts on “Mother’s Day = Not too bad

  1. Another beautiful post. The church service sounds like it was wonderful, I need to get into the habit of going to church again, sometimes my faith isn’t strong enough and I admire that in you!

    Glad that your day wasn’t too bad, I too believe that you will be a mom sweetie!

    Also glad that the clomid monster hasn’t shown her ugly mug yet, am hoping that she’ll stay away and that your naggy beotch is wrong AND that your ovaries are hard at work. (geez, there’s quite a few AND’s in that sentence, can you tell I’m hoping for alot!!) 😉

    I wait with baited breath for your next update!!

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  2. Thank’s for the well wishes! My heart only thawed now when I read your post. Your church sounds awesome! Don’t worry about the clomid monster, everything will work out as it should.

    I’m waiting with Tam for your next update!!

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  3. Ladies, you make my heart warm all over again! I really don’t know what I would do without you around during this process…

    Tam – I am also hoping for lots – the more ‘ands the better 😉

    Elize – you are in my thoughts and prayers all the time – min dae till your appointment – very excited for you!

    Super M – *sniff sniff* Baaahhhhhhh (I am a sympathetic cryer)

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  4. I am so glad that your church service was amazing! Glad God thawed that ice around your heart… i pray that God will open your womb and the longing in your heart will be filled… My heart is so happy when i hear that churches do not forget about all the woman that are longing to be moms on mothers day!

    Thinking of you

    xxx

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