My weekend was truly a tale of two opposites.
Friday we had a divine braai at friends (Cliff consumed way too much wine and woke with a bit of headache 😉 ) so I woke up on Saturday all happy and ready for the day. Got showered, dressed and headed off to work to make sure that all was on track for the function we were hosting later that day. Got into work, had a cup of tea, caught up on emails and then heanded up to the function room to make sure all was on track – 11h00. Room was not set up. Cue confused look on my face. I raced downstairs to ask the ops team what time they were setting up the room as guests were due at 14h30 and they looked at me blankly. “WHAT FUNCTION?” My heart froze and I could actually hear my nothing to worry about murmur suck the blood back into the valve. “The XX&Y function…” “Is that TODAY? I thought it was for 29th April!!!” FUCK!!! Proceed to race around like a blue arsed fly, get room set up, race to kitchen to make sure chef is on course! Chef is also confused, he did not get my correspondance about the function…. DOUBLE FUCK!!! Chef gets cracking and gets rockets shoved up the other chefs cracks to get the food sorted out.
I then have to rush off to get some documents and as I jump onto the hiway (seriously wishing I had the bat mobile at my use) I notice my petrol light come on. I am sure I am going to make it to my destination when WHAM I run out of petrol in the FAST lane of the hiway. YIKES! Not a good place to run out of petroleum at all. The
arsehole guy driving behind me missed hitting me by two milimetres as I coasted onto the grassy verge. Cue the phone call no wife should ever have to make (simply cos the ragging and teasing one endures afterwards is seriously painfull). Hubby pulls up behind me 35 minutes later only to find that we cannot pour the petrol into my car cos the cannister he used does not get all the way to the opening in my car. SHIT!!! I had to use my beautiful Kruger National Park map book as a funnel (which does not work so well by the way) and ended up reeking of petrol the whole evening! And boy, what a mission to get back ONTO the hiway… not an easy one but a mission that we had to accept if we wanted to get anywhere… I think my bum grew hands and held onto my seat as I had to take the smallest of small gaps to zoom back onto the road from the grassy verge. Who knew that Fiat Palio’s did such awesome wheel spins? (Jhb Municipality, my sincere apologies for the grass that was spun up by my undercover drag race persona, but it was par for the course baby, par for the course…) After this little debacle I REALLY felt like a huge glass of anything alcoholic but decided to indulge my racing heart with a cappucino with cream instead. Understandbly I win the prize for biggest doffie of the weekend… By the way, honey bunny hubby, the petrol cracks have to stop.
Sunday was divine in comparison, excellent church service, chilled out afternoon puttering at home and then a relaxed evening with my in laws. *Giggle* I have to tell a quick story about my nephew… He was horsing around with his Dad in the lounge after supper and was boxing and karate chopping etc. Next thing we know, there is this little round chocolate ball on the carpet, he steps in it and gets upset. His Dad asks him what it was, he says “um, chocolate?” and the Dad bends down picks it up and smells it and is like “My boy, did you have an accident?” The little one blushes and whispers “um, yes…” He gets scooped up and is raced to the loo with all of us hosing ourselves… We are thinking we might have to call him “Bokdrol Bryce” from now on. *Giggle*
My bad mind goes to the place of imagining my poor brother in law popping the “chocolate” into his mouth, it makes me laugh out loud… Does that make me weird and nutty? Yes? Good.