I seriously need to get some proper sleep!
The function was a resounding success and luckily I managed to get the wine delivered in the nick of time *grumbling cos the stoopid client blamed me for it not being delivered even though she was supposed to arrange it* and all the glamorous people who attended had a good time – even those who did not win awards… There was a bit of controversy caused by one winner who basically told everyone that he was very insulted cos he was seated closer to the back of the theatre rather than right in front and was upset cos he was the only man of colour to win an award – Ouch! (Wondering if anyone had heard this on the news today at all?) Nothing like a bit of “racial slur” to put a damper on the evening – clearly many people agreed cos said winner got a bit of a boo from his peers for that one… But I digress, due to the resounding success of the function I only stumbled into bed at 01h00 this morning and had to be up bright and early for an early meeting… my feet are still throbbing slightly from the run around of yesterday and my eyelids are being kept open by toothpicks (any ideas for a less obvious way of keeping them open?)
So I really need to get some rest cos I am feeling knackered! And because of my knackered state I am starting to sluggishly work myself up for my follow up appointment with the lovely smiling Dr V. What if I have messed up insides? What if bleeding and spotting for 45 days straight means I have something dark and mysterious wrong? What if he tells me that I have no hope? What if my non ovulation cannot be assisted medically? What if my AMH is bad and my FSH is to high? What if the toothpick holding my eye open causes an infection and results in worse fertility woes? What if? What if?
Does anyone else have these useless mind wanderings as the time draws near to their appointments? Or am I an absolute freak of nature who needs to get a life? Sometimes I think that this was why we decided to go the homeopathic route for so long before seeking treatment again, because I am a painful over analyser who creates many scenarios in my head to prepare myself for any eventuality…. sometimes I am a complete and utter nut job and I feel that sometimes being on the treatment roller coaster makes me an even more complete and utter nut job!
Please tell me that I am not alone in this? Even if you have to fib? In my knackered state I’m afraid I cannot be held liable for my actions if you confirm the complete and utter nut job status…