What I have learnt…

There are many variations of this post that have been written by other wonderful women all over the world, having recently read a post along these lines, I decided to do my own version of it as well.  Please note that the items listed below are all personal to my infertility journey and any resemblance to previous posts is entirely co-incidental…

I never thought I would say this, but infertility has taught me a lot.  It has taught me stuff about myself, about my marriage, about my friends and about my faith.  Here are some of the things infertility has taught me…

  • That my Father in Heaven loves me, and that He always fulfils His promises to us.  In HIS time, not ours
  • That although my body does not work the way I want it to, I still have to learn to love it
  • That I am stronger than I think
  • That I would still have enough blood left in my body to sustain my life after having millions of blood draws done
  • That my husband is a good man who loves me despite my faults
  • That I love my husband more and more despite his faults
  • That our family is there for us – even if it means not asking “those” questions cos they can see we are hurting
  • That I would be able to inject myself with hormones willingly
  • That my friends would all have families before me and not with me
  • That I would meet wonderful strong amazing women through an infertility forum and be lucky enough to count them as my friends
  • That I would be excited at the prospect of having a period cos it would mean hope for me
  • That I would be obsessed by my cervical fluid and cervical position not just once a day, but several times a day
  • That I would take my temperature and be able to read it off while still technically asleep
  • That I would be afraid to make love with my husband cos I wouldn’t want him to feel like he was pressured to perform
  • That I would allow the point above to effect our sex life so much
  • That I would cry an ocean of tears and still have enough left for the next round
  • That giving up wine is actually not as difficult as I thought it would be
  • That as much as I try to keep my mind focused on other things, having a baby to complete my family is never far from any thought or focus I can come up with
  • That I would be able to look at the scan screen and *know* what I was looking at
  • That my marriage is stronger than outsiders may think – we are working through this journey right, we can take on the world as long as we work together
  • That money is just money when it comes to realising this dream
  • That I will consider getting into debt to realise this dream (yikes!)
  • That if I don’t try absolutely everything I possibly can to make this dream a reality that I will ALWAYS think to myself “What if?”
  • That I would find golf and actually LOVE it (when it does not frustrate the hell out of me 😉 )
  • That I would sit here typing this out with literally hundreds of things I have learnt coming to mind
  • That reflexology hurts sometimes and that sometimes it is simply divine
  • That I really want to walk into the fertility clinic reception and say Hi really loudly to everyone sitting there, just because no-one else does it *evil giggle*
  • That I would tell anyone who is really interested about our journey in the hope that it may help them
  • That my reading material would shift from Jodi Picoult, Nora Roberts, John Grisham and the like to Fertility books written by *gasp* doctors
  • That I am not alone in this journey – in fact I have learnt that there are more people walking this road than I can ever realise
  • That I would begrudge fertile people their pregnancies achieved so easily
  • That it would be incredibly hard for me to be around pregnant people and people with babies
  • That so many people think that “just relaxing” or adopting will help me ovulate and therefore fall pregnant

And most of all I have learnt this:

  • THAT I WILL HAVE A FAMILY! NO MATTER WHAT 🙂
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One thought on “What I have learnt…

  1. That I really want to walk into the fertility clinic reception and say Hi really loudly to everyone sitting there, just because no-one else does it *evil giggle*

    Been there…haven’t done that…

    Like

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