I guess I have always known it would come to this, making an appointment for an IVF consultation… So why am I in 2 minds about it?
Maybe because I still believe that against all odds that sex could possibly make me pregnant… (Hahahahahahahahahaha) Or maybe it is because by making the appointment, I am in some way giving up on my body doing what it should naturally be able to do… Maybe it is because I am terrified out of my mind to get back into the needle habit… and maybe it is because by making this appointment I am setting myself up for all sorts of disappointments and anguish…
Whatever it is, I need it to stop cos I am going to make the appointment come what may!
If I am 100% honest with myself, I guess one of the biggest worries to conquer is the what if this does not work worry… IVF is the peice de resistance of fertility treatments, what the heck do I do if it does not work. What if my Capetonian ovaries decide that despite all that western medicine has to throw at them to sit back and say “Screw You” to the meds? What then?
Oooi, what then?