Have yourself a Merry Lil’ Christmas…

It’s no secret that I love Christmas.

I love it for many reasons.  First and foremost, I love Christmas because it’s an outward showing of the love I have for my Saviour who was born into this world to die for my sins. And yes, I know he wasn’t actually born on this day but the symbolism of it holds true for me.

I love Christmas cos its a special time that I get to spend with my family.  My big, mad, crazy family.  As a Curley tradition we always used to wake up early on Christmas morning, head to church and when we got home we’d crack a bottle of bubbly, mix with OJ and toast while opening pressies.  We still do this every year.  We have a massive Christmas lunch with loads of laughing, joking and EATING and then we all sit and lie together on couches, some of us have naps, we talk, we tickle each other but most importantly we love on each other.

As Cliff and I got further and further into our infertility journey, I still loved Christmas but it started to become a time of sadness mixed with the joy for us.  We used to be reminded of the fact that we were the ones without children over and over.  And we all know “Christmas is all about the kids” right?  It became a time of year that I stopped looking forward to.  I used to head into each Christmas with the thought that next year would be our year and when it wasn’t I would spiral further into the despair…

Last Christmas I was pregnant, happily so and I was just so darn glad that I could embrace the joy that Christmas was for me again.  I had experienced my last major pregnancy bleed and my child was growing in my tummy.  I could let myself drown in the happiness of it all.  This year, I know I’m gonna have to take a trailer with to my Mom’s house to cart all the pressies home.  Cos this year, my son will be entering into the Christmas mayhem with us.  I look at him as we draw closer and closer to this special day and I fall to my knee’s with gratitude.  I cannot believe that we hit the jackpot so to speak and that we are so blessed.  I sink into my happiness like an addict sinking into a high.

But I also take a step back to think of those who are still in the trenches of infertility.  Of the joy that is robbed of them at this time of year.  My wish for all of you who are still trying to make or add to your families; is that your deepest desire’s are fulfilled in the coming year.  That next year will be a Christmas of unending joy and gratitude.

So from me and mine, to you and yours “Have yourself a Merry Lil’ Christmas”

Erm, oh Hi! Look it’s 2010

I’ve been totally avoiding my blog of late.  I’ve just not been inspired to write anything really.

Since my last pitiful post, life has gone on and we’ve got ourselves through the Festive season.  People warned me about doing a treatment cycle just before Christmas – pretty much everyone I know told me to avoid a Christmas cycle cos if it did not work it would be extra hard to get through.  I thought it would be just like any other failed cycle – I mean they all suck right?  They’re all hard to “get over”.  But oh my hat, Christmas was VERY hard this year.  It should have been a time of celebration and joy at the news that we were finally “up the spout” with sprog and instead I found it was a time of forced smiles and curried joy so as not to put a damper on everyone elses Festive spirit.  Christmas Eve was spent with the Young’s and Christmas day was spent with the Curley clan – cousins aunts and uncles and all.

I worked right through the season (admittedly not very hard but worked none the less) and managed to lose 7 kg’s and keep this weight loss consistent.  Saying no to those added treats over this season is not as hard as one thinks. (I think being sadder than normal helps)

Cliff and I spent a very quiet New Years Eve at home with our hounds.  We drank lots of champers (no where to drive and certainly no reason not to) and had a braai on our patio.

Just before the clock turned we put the tunes on full blast had a little dance in the lounge,

blew our vuvuzela in preparation for the FIFA 2010 World Cup being hosted in our country this year

and has a quick snog at midnight.  Cliff went to bed and I stayed up drinking champers and watching movies.  And so started our year.

2010.  Sjoe, who would have thought it would get here as quickly as it did?
As we face our 5th ART treatment pretty much around the corner, I’ll not start this year like I always do and state this this year WILL be our year.  What I will say is that I pray that each and every person who reads here gets blessed in ways they never thought possible and that all their hopes and dreams be fulfilled.  I pray that each and every person who reads here has peace and joy in their hearts and that life for each and every one of you is healthy, wealthy and just damn fine.

Here’s to a great 2010 – in whatever shape or form that happens to manifest itself.

Merry Christmas!

Cliff and I wish each and everyone of you in Blogland a very Merry Christmas! 

Jingle Bells, Christmas Smells…

…. Sam needs to run away, not a gift is in sight, maybe today! Hey!

Seriously though, I am at my MOST disorganised I have ever been at this time of year.  I *love* Christmas.  I love that it gives me a chance to celebrate the birth of my Saviour, I love that it gives me time to spend time with my family and friends, I love it!  BUT this year I have not been able to get my ass into gear – at all.  Here we sit – two (2!!!) measly days before the big event and I have not bought one (1!!!!) Christmas present.  *sigh* 

And as much as I know I *have* to get it done today or it’s tickets for me, I am *so* not in the mood.  At least I managed to get my a into g enough to put up the Christmas tree.  That’s gotta count for something right?

I was in a bummed mood yesterday as well.  Not something I allow myself to wallow in for long and today I’m feeling much better, but I have to share the wallow.  Every year a RL friend of mine has a Christmas braai.  Last year at the braai we met her friends Claire and Paul who had been battling to fall pregnant.  They had 2 rounds of clomid and at the braai were happily pregnant.  I remember sitting there thinking – next braai next year that will be *me*. 

But at the braai this year, Claire and Paul were bouncing their 5 month old baby boy on their knee’s and there Cliff and I sat, still no closer to our dream of having a baby.  It hit me like a stream train.  Yet another year lost.  Yet another year where my hopes and dreams were crushed.  Yet another Christmas wishing for a child to share it with.  Yet another party where we are the only childless couple.

But despite myself I still sat there thinking to myself – next year at the next braai – that will be me.

Business Advice?

I have committed to having a stand at a local Christmas market in November to showcase my ceramics which will hopefully kick start a business that will support my portion of the bills in the long run so that I no longer have to work where I am currently working… *gets dreamy look in her eyes*

The thing is that I cannot paint hundreds of pieces with the hope of selling them during the market days (I have to pay upfront for my bisque and paints and glazing etc which might result in me being severely out of pocket if I don’t manage to sell anything at all).  What I am planning to do is to paint some really excellent pieces (how vain am I?) that range in design to suit a wide selection of tastes and hopefully sell them all but to also in the process get some orders from people who attend the market (I am having cheapo business cards made for this purpose)…

The deal is that I need to pay the lady who is hosting the market 20% of my sales, but my question is this – does that include any possible orders that I might obtain from the market at a later stage?  Ethically I feel that I need to pay her 20% of the orders that are placed by people while physically at the stall as they will be sales I made directly due to being at her market, but have been confusing myself as to whether these “sales” are considered ”proper” sales in terms of the deal?  I 100% feel that any orders I may get from people who have taken my card and contact me *after* the market has concluded are not liable for the 20% commission… I need to iron out these details with her before I confirm the stall to avoid any confusion as to commission rights further down the road.

Advise please – what do you think is the correct method of commission payment in terms of sales vs orders placed?