We’re already 5 days into 2012 and each time I sit in front of my laptop and start to put fingers to keyboard to do my 2011 round-up post, I find that words start to fail me.
Because what do I say about 2011?
Whilst the year as a whole came with many ups and downs - ups which were super high and downs which were super low, I cannot say that it was the best year of my life. And yet the year, 2011, contained the most amazing day of my life to date.
On the 03rd of June 2011 I was blessed with the most amazing gift ever – my son Kade Ethan entered my life the way he continues to fulfill it – with wonder and surprise. He has healed me in ways that I didn’t even realise I was broken. He has healed my husband in ways I didn’t realise *he* was broken. And he is a shining light to all that share our lives. I love him more than my heart can handle and he is teaching me to love life’s smallest treasures again.
I’ve been honored to share in the births of many other such gifts and to see the healing that they have brought to their respective families. I’ve been blessed to share in my close friend’s pregnancy and to see the healing her pregnancy has brought her and her family. So much joy has filled the days of 2011.
But there has also been sadness, hurt and anger. Trials and tribulations that family and friends have had to face and conquer. I am so proud that I am connected to a wealth of people who in the face of adversity, find the strength to let the sadness knock them down and once they’ve allowed that sadness to keep them down for long enough, to extend the middle finger and triumph over that adversity. You know who you are, and you inspire me.
I have grown so much as a person in 2011. I realised that I could give of myself responsibly and still be a good friend and family member. That allowing myself to put myself first does NOT make me a bad person. Just the opposite in fact – it makes me a better one. I’ve realised that letting go of toxicity is the best thing I can do for myself and for those around me.
I’ve fallen more in love with my body than I’ve been in a long time and have let go of plenty of past hurts. I’m free-er than I used to be. That’s not to say that I don’t still have a lot to work on cos I sure do, but I hope to continue in 2012 in the manner in which I started in 2011. I have some goals I have set myself and I will be doing my best to achieve them. One little step at a time.
I have high hopes for 2012, that my learning will continue as I draw closer to God and explore the structure that is my family. Here’s to an amazing 2012 my friends.
May it bring all of you the desires of your hearts and the happiness you deserve!