Most Embarrassing Moments

My friend Elize has started her own tag game and it entails listing your most embarrassing moments – SA gals pop along to her blog she has a great prize on offer for the most embarrassing moment!

So without further ado – my most embarrassing moments:

• I was 16 and was pretty much considered president of the nerd herd, so was very much surprised when the cool kids asked me to sit with them at lunch time… we used to sit on the field (cos that was super cool) and we used to chat and joke around.  I had just got my period and had a tampon in my skirt pocket to change towards the end of break time… as I was being all cool unoticed my tampon fell out my pocket and lay bare and naked for all to see… The hottest boy in the school (sitting next to me) spotted it – tried to bring my attention to it subtley but alas the WHOLE group noticed (he was nodding towards it and making erm hum noises but would not actually touch it!) and they started throwing it around and someone even suggested getting a red koki pen to make it look real… my cheeks burned and I could feel the blood roaring in my ears… the hot boy looked at me with regret and I walked off with as much dignity as I could muster… alas, even though I provided much entertainment I was relagated to the nerd herd for ever more!
• Again a school one… I was *in love* with a hot boy… as you are in school… my friends and I were going through a really silly stage of pushing and shoving each other and we thought it was hilarious!  We used to plan our routes between classes so that we could walk past the hot crush of the day… it was my day!  I would be seeing my hottie between English and Biology and we would maybe even make eye contact *sigh*  So English class ends, we walk to our next class and – wait, there he is – the sight of him makes my heart melt – until shove!  From behind I get shoved but my eyes are so full of hot boy stars that I misstep and fall right in front of his feet – embarrassing hey?  But the worst of it is that HE stepped right over me (way too cool to help the girl who he knew was obsessed had a crush on him cos that would make me think he liked me too right?).  I was helped up by one of his mates though who called him a jerk… I cried, my heart broke and my friends and I?  We stopped that stupid shoving thing right then and there…
• I was seeing the second gynocologist ever in my life… my mom was concerned that something was wrong with me cos I hardly ever got my periods (you think?) Anyway I was told by the doc that he needed to do an internal scan – I was so used to that, my first gynocologest also did the same thing so I whipped of the panties, hopped on the bed, covered my legs with the sheet and was ready for action.  It was a bit awkward cos I had my period (for the first time in about 9 months) B.L.I.N.D!!  Next thign I know I feel the doc pulling out my tampon, hear him chucking it the bin (my eyes were closed in pure mortification by this time) and he did the scan.  I quickly wiped clean and got dressed in double quick time – I never went back to him… B.L.I.N.D!!!
• Then there was the time I forgot to wear panties to school (primary school) and I hung from the jungle gym and pulled a Debbie does Dallas… Everyone was laughingn and pointing and I could not understand WHY??? Ok so that one happened in a dream, but I’m sure it still counts right?

Why do three out of four of my moments deal with tampons and no panties?  ::blushes furiously::

What are your most embarrassing moments?

Gas (Wo)Man…

Beware Gas (Wo)Man!  Her alias is a humble young lass who lives in suburbia who looks gorgeous and divine and harmless… BUT beware Gas (Wo)Man!

Not trained in the martial arts, this lady hardcore rocking chick has weapons that none can compare to… Any sign of irritation or annoyance can unleash the wrath of Gas (Wo)Man… Her weapons are tornadoes of methane gas which ripple across her tummy at regular intervals and once they are released you gag and sputter and eventually pass out!  Sometimes the omission of her weapons strike silently and pour out her secret orifice with deathly stealth… if you see a flash of woolen wrap disappearing around the corner – run!  Sometimes the weapons abound and it sounds like gun fire (this mostly happens in the evenings under the covers but beware Gas (Wo)Man anyway)…

Gas (Wo)Man has just recently found out about her alter ego… She is doing her best to neutralise the situation but fears that until her gas enhancing supplement is out of the picture that her rather odd and oft times embarrassing super power might not be controllable…

Consider yourself warned… Gas (Wo)Man lives!

So Honored…

… to have been nominated for a blog award!  Wow!  Need to write my acceptance speech quickly…

Seriously though, I am so honored to have been nominated for the Pink Rose award by Nic, she is someone that I met when I was having my friendship challenges… I have been hooked on her blog since then, I just love the way she writes and expresses herself.  She really seems like someone that I would be friends with in “real” life (and if we lived on the same continent )… I just know we’ll get to know each other better via our blogs and you never know… one day we might get to meet face to face…

Instructions on how to pass this along.

1. on your blog, copy and paste the award, these rules, a link back to the person who selected you, and a link to this post: “Pink is my favorite color…“. There’s a story of Pink Rose Award and other graphic to choose from.
2. Select as many award recipents as you would like, link to their blogs (if they have one), and explain why you have chose them.
3. Let them know that you have selected them for an award by commenting on one of their posts.
4. If you are selected, pass it on by giving the Pink Rose Award to others.
5. If you find that someone you want to nominate has already been selected by someone else, you can still honor them by posting a comment on their award post stating your reasons for wishing to grant them the award.
6. You do not have to wait until someone nominates you to nominate someone else.

So without further ado nominations here are as follows:

• Super M – my driving range buddy, the one who always has pragmatic advise for me and still manages to get me to laugh – even while she is being dry and droll… Her blog is a mish mash of many interesting topics from geeky stuff, to (in)fertility stuff to fun stuff – heck check it out!
• Sharon – my twin!  We share the same birthday and sometimes our thoughts on things are so freakinly similar I get a bit scared.  Someone who has been through the rings of infertility and then some -she writes with passion and right from the gut of her heart… You’ll be hooked on her for sure!
• Elize – what a faithful friend and follower of Christ… Again her thoughts and posts are always from the heart and support from this girl is unwavering…
• Cali – my just about FET cycle sista!  Her eye for photography is amazing and her ability to construct posts that drill right to the heart of the issue at hand is just uncanny.  She is funny, witty and a warm amazing caregiver to her GM.
• Bee Cee - my UK mate!  She gave me such valueble advise on my first IVF and also helped me fix my wordpress profile so that I would not be a complete stranger to ppl when leaving comments.  She is beautiful inside and out.

There are so many more that I could add, but these girls get my first official blog awards, awards…

La Di Da…

And the madness begins…

At only 3DP5DT I am aleady in the horrible rut of “this just might have worked” vs “aw crap, there is no way this has worked”… *sigh* I am driving myself nuts. I *know* that I just need to have faith and that I need to trust that the outcome is already determined and no amount of worrying and obsessing about it can change that, and yet, here I am again, in the cess pool of 2ww madness… As soon as I feel myself slipping into the cess pool I sharply remind myself that I need to trust my God and I feel fine again…so I guess I’ll be being sharp with myself quite a bit the next 11 days   If that does not work, I guess I’ll have to hack at myself with a spoon….

I had a VERY relaxing weekend… Took the day off on Friday so that I could chill out after the transfer (which went much better this time round – no ute claming required thank you very much {have I mentioned how much I love my Dr V?}). I slept for a few hours on Friday afternoon, watched Oprah (have not done that in a while) and chilled with my furry girlies… oh and cooked dinner…  Cliff played golf on Saturday and I met a friend for coffee (decaf of course) and breakfast and again just chilled out.  Read my book and lay down quite a lot… Yesterday was church, breakfast with my Mom, sister and neice at home and then cooked lunch waiting for Cliff to get home from the 702 Walk the Talk.  He got to walk the 5km’s with our hounds and my friend Marce who was my understudy stand in cos I was not allowed to walk due to a certain number of cellular beings that are hopefully growing in my tummy…  I had a Sunday afternoon nap and then chilled out in front of the TV last night… I liked chilling out, but I was glad to get to work today adn finally get some “action”…Hahaha!  (Am alone in office, mostly everyone is off and I am B.O.R.E.D, so B.O.R.E.D)

I mean I’m the first person in the world who advocates pajama days and I truly believe that weekends are for refueling after a long week at work, but all this doing absolutley nothing for three days straight was kinda tiring in and on its own…  I cannot imagine how you girls on bed rest for weeks on end do it… Don’t get me wrong I would lie around for months if it meant a healthy baby for us, but I would surely drive myself even more nutty than I already am…

So how do you girls do it?  WHAT do you do to pass the time?  I mean (and I cannot believe I’m about to say this AT ALL) there is only so much sleeping one can do right?  PSP or DS pop to mind, but I am not much of a gamer and I cannot sew to save my life (I saw one girl on bed rest made a blanket – hand stitched – kudos to her)… Not that I am on bed rest or have any reason at all to be wondering, but my interest was peaked… 

If you’ve managed to read all the way through this worthless drivel post, I would be most interested to hear your thoughts on what one does to pass the time while on bed rest???

Surprise!

Our little popsicles outdid themselves overnight!  We ended up with three (yes 3, drie, tres) to transfer this morning   I was so surprised, I was expecting to only have 2 at most (was worried again that they would not make it overnight – oh me of little faith) and when we had the embryo chat before transfer we were very pleased to hear that we had 3 to transfer…

Popsicle # 1 was pretty sad, even our untrained eyes could see that this little one was not doing so well, and I had a little pang in my heart for that little one who was not going to make it…

Popsicle # 2 decided to grow from 6 cells to 10 cells overnight and was looking really good

Popsicle #’s 3 & 4 were both compacting and we were very happy with that – one step away from blast stage – both of them

All our popsicles were given assisted hatching cos according to Dr J, the frozen ones sometimes have issues hatching out of the walls cos the outer shells get hard from being cryogenically preserved…  Transfer went MUCH better this time round – no pulling my ute out to get the catheter in so I was a happy camper!  Flash!! and in went our three (3, drie, tres!) little popsicles…

So now little popsicles, Mom and Dad are asking you really nicely to decide to stick around for a while!  We would LOVE for you to implant and grow and to make us happy parents… K?  I promise to give you nice ice cream with sugar stars sprinkled on top when you get big enough…

Bring on the 2ww   I’m ready for 08.08.08!!! (Test date y’all…)

Thank you God!

Out of the four popsicles, we have two that have started growing again. 

Yay!!!

I am SO relieved, I cannot explain it… I was so worried that none of them would make it… so will be at the clinic tomorrow morning for the transfer and then smack bang into the 2ww… I thank God for taking care of our little ones to this stage and am praying hard for them to stick around for oh, 9 months or so…

Stayed tuned for the next popsicle episode tomorrow

Melted Ice Cream Dreams & Dividing Stars…

Today is a big day for our little popsicles… they get taken out of their safe ice palace and are slowly expected to melt and start dividing again. 

Now I am not one who condones putting pressure on one’s kids to excel (ok maybe just a little but only if it is something they like doing and show a natural affinity for), but in this case I find that I am wanting our little popsicles to excel… I want them to win gold in the thawing race and I want them to grow well throughout the day and night so that when I make that all important call tomorrow morning at 11h00, I’ll have some good news to share…

I’m hoping for a cracking domino effect…. Good thaw – bump – good divide – bump – good blasts – bump – good transfer – bump – good 2ww (hahahahahahahaha) – bump – good blood test – bump – good heartbeat – bump – good development and so on and so forth… Can one really expect a good thaw to result in a good baby?  I sure do…but at the end of the day I know that I need to trust my God.  I know that He has it all under control and what ever will be will be in His time, according to His perfect plan…I’m just hoping that the plan is now

Last night I had a weird dream (maybe it was helped along by the cyclogest I started taking yesterday and the comment made by Super Mabout ice cream trucks, but it was kinda strange…).  I dreamt that our popsicles were stored in an ice cream truck and that they were ensconsed by yummy vanilla ice cream, but the ice cream was melting and the ice cream man (dressed in his swanky lab coat) was turning out cone after cone in an effort to not make an all consuming mess of his ice cream truck… I was worried that our popsicles would end up in someones tummy as part of their delicious cone when all of a sudden stars started shooting out of the melting pot and then started dividing – stars, stars everywhere… I ran into the middle of the stars and they stuck to my body turning me into a human glitterball… then I woke up to the sound of my alarm so alas, I cannot tell you how this dream ended (ie: did I have a star baby or not) but I am really really really hoping for one….

Can you tell that my obsessed mind is losing it? Heh…

Till tomorrow – here’s to my dividing stars!

Show some love…

… in an attempt to stop thinking only of myself and my situation, please can you all head over to my friend Sharon’s blog – she is having a rough day and needs some tender loving care…

Best Laid Plans…

When I embarked on this FET journey, I had it all planned out. 

By my calculations I would have been just about half way through my 2ww today and would most likely be symptom obsessing even though I would furiously be reminding myself of the futility of that – Yeah right! Ha!  If my plans had worked out, I would already know if my popsicles survived the thaw, I would already know how many made it to transfer day, and I would be half way closer to knowing if the FET was my dream catcher….

As it happens my plans were a leetle out of kilter and I am only now moving towards the big thaw… I don’t really know why I’m obsessing over it as much as I am, except to say that I am champion obsessor… aaarrgghhh who’m I kidding?  I’m worried that the four popsicles won’t make it… I mean, in my heart of hearts I’m sure at least ONE of them will make it but I’m greedy, I want all four to make it and I want all four to grow and I want all four to transfer… that way I’ll stand more of a chance of at least one of them hanging around right?

I’m trying hard to keep level headed about this FET, but I’m really really really hoping it works for us.

F.E.T Call Home…

Right so in the quietest FET of the history of infertiles, I have some news…

Went for a endo check scan this morning and it is currently sitting at over 11mm (did not get actual measurement but my FS was super pleased)…. Thaw is set for Wednesday so I am putting all my energy into praying that our four little popsicles make it and all start dividing so that we have some hatching blasts to put back on Friday…

If you pray, I would appreciate one for our popsicles if you would… If you don’t any good vibes, thawing vibes, cell dividing vibes, stick around for the good times vibes would be much appreciated…

Suddenly this FET just became real – crikey!  But in a good way